Let's Cast Magic Missile!

Heh, it's just a type of weapon, not an uber-leet hax item. It's just a big hammer, but it's the biggest one available thus far.

I bet if we asked the Kobold blacksmith nicely he could make a bigger one. Then we could name that after a shitty band too, something like PANZERSTEIN UMLAUT. It would be the size of a horse and shaped like a dragon having a shit so you hit people with a massive dragon's cloaca, thereby humiliating them as well as injuring them and justifying you in shouting "Hey bad guy, eat ass" everytime you swung it.

That's why I find reading rule books and shit so pointless, you can always come up with something better yourself.

Yeah, nevermind. I just realized Deni's using one-handed weapons with a shield. I guess I just assumed he had a maul because of his character name.

Just becuase he's using that now, doesn't mean he wouldn't trade up if someone offered us a PANZERSTEIN UMLAUT. Imagine the look on the orc's face when he unsheathes his Mordenkrad only for Gabriel to casually lean back and say "That's not a hammer, this is a hammer" before drawing his PANZERSTEIN UMLAUT and smashing the little shit into a fine mist using a hammer the size of a fucking horse shaped like a dragon's arsehole. I mean, maybe we could let him live just so he could go back to his orc buddies and he'd be all like "Hey guys, I just got the living shit kicked out of me yo. You know I had that Mordenkrad yeah and I thought I was pretty badass right coz, you know, it's named after my favourite Swedish death metal band, so I attacked this bunch of dudes right and this one dwarf, I swear to God he had a hammer the size of a fucking horse man! No shit, and get this right, it was shaped like a dragon having a shit so when he hit me, it was like being hit by a dragon's arsehole and he was shouting HEY BAD GUY, EAT ASS all the time he was hitting me. I tell you guys, most. awesome. mother. fucking. hammer. EVER! You do not want to fuck with these guys, trust me on this". So then word gets around the dungeon pretty quick that you don't want to mess with Scary Bob and his horde because of the dwarf with the fucking hammer the size of a HORSE, shaped like a DRAGON taking a SHIT and everyone avoids us after that. If we keep a good look out for traps it's pretty much plain sailing to the exit.

Man, I hope we find a PANZERSTEIN UMLAUT soon.

Ooooh, eternal chalk can come in any color. Give them a green one, Pang! How else will Argumentus draw his favorite flavors of fungus and mold?

Originally Posted by Animechanic

Ooooh, eternal chalk can come in any color. Give them a green one, Pang! How else will Argumentus draw his favorite flavors of fungus and mold?

How about instead of eternal chalk we could get A PAINT POT AND BRUSH OF SENTIENT PAINTING +4. This would be a magic pot of paint and a brush which would float along behind us, transcribing our heroic deeds in the form of murals on the walls. Our passing would be marked forever in a perpetually updating Bayeuxesqe montage, transforming the otherwise dull dungeon into a veritable Sistine Chapel in honour of the party.

Man, you need to think bigger mate. Free yourself from the constraints of the humdrum rule book and let your imagination soar on flights of fancy! If people had always limited themselves to the rule book, would Gallileo ever have pondered that the Earth might not be centre of the universe? Would the Wright brothers ever have believed a heavier than air craft could fly? Would Babbage ever have thought you could get a machine to do your adding up for you? Would Steve Jackson ever have written a book wherein you choose your own adventures? No, no, no and no. Rulebooks are the enemy of free thought and innovation my friend. Cast yours aside and just see what wonderous things you can invisage.

Gonna wait on soggy's turn to end because I was hoping he wouldn't attack that zombie so I'm gonna see what happens. <=)

Originally Posted by Animechanic

Yeah, nevermind. I just realized Deni's using one-handed weapons with a shield. I guess I just assumed he had a maul because of his character name.

You do know that technically a maul is any hammer with a shaped edge at one end and as such, can be either one or two handed right? Your statement makes no sense.

Originally Posted by Bradylama

Gonna wait on soggy's turn to end because I was hoping he wouldn't attack that zombie so I'm gonna see what happens. <=)

Just take out the goddam wight already.

Originally Posted by Shin

You do know that technically a maul is any hammer with a shaped edge at one end and as such, can be either one or two handed right? Your statement makes no sense.

You're still going? I assumed you were done last night and went to bed.

Anyways, I'd tell you to look at the player's handbook section on weapons, but you already went off on a spectacular tirade about rules, so I know it would be futile.

Edit: Also, I have no idea what you are talking about. Mauls are medieval sledghammers. I think you are talking about a splitting maul used to split wood. They are usually two-handed too though. This would be a lot easier to look up if half the results weren't for Darth Maul.

Yeah you're really showing Shin how much you don't care about this nonsense.

Ok, I promised Pang I'd stay out of his thread. Bye all. I'll be back if any of your characters need to be babysat and Pang can't find a volunteer.

May your crotchety old midget take a PANZERSTEIN UMLAUT to the forhead, lurker.

Originally Posted by Bradylama

Gonna wait on soggy's turn to end because I was hoping he wouldn't attack that zombie so I'm gonna see what happens. <=)

Ok now it is safe to proceed

Originally Posted by Pangalin

Gabriel isn't quite within 5 squares but I'll allow it.

my bad, I was counting from Mots' icon. In my defense, all y'all hirsuite shrimps look alike.

Originally Posted by Pangalin

Gabriel roars in fury, and his axe ignites with the holy fire of Kord himself. The wight screams in agony as Kord's rage burns it down to ash.

_4 axe damage
_3 axe damage
_2 STR damage
_2 WIS damage
_2 feat damage
_1 Enhancement damage
+5 radiant vulnerability damage
-------------------------
19 damage, wight destroyed

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19 damage? Really? Shiiiiiiiit.

Anybody taking the time to save my ass would be greatly appreciated.

Can the unconscious/dying spend healing surges? Cuz if so I got your back.

Jesus, you guys have got to learn to start shifting rather than running out of combat.

Didn't someone have a healing potion? In fact, it might even be Bob. If I pour it down Soggy's throat will he recover?

I believe Fescue force-fed Bob the potion after he got a bolt in the chest and passed out.

Anyway, lurker's probably got it covered.