Let's Cast Magic Missile!

Pangalin · 04:30 PM

Signup and discussion

I handle most of the rules considerations. If you try to do something illegal, I'll usually just drop you a note in this thread and give you the opportunity to edit your actions.

All I need from the players are instructions for whatever they intend to do each turn, which I respond to by rolling some DICE. I then return with a report of how much they failed (or succeeded, occasionally).

5 players at a time maximum. As characters die or players drop out, the next one in the queue slots in.

At the absolute minimum, you pick a race and a class. That's all the character design work you absolutely need to do.

If you'd prefer to actually assemble the character yourself instead of relying on my good graces, use the official Character Builder: (Ongoing Free Trial). It will walk you through the process and is extremely painless compared to assembling the character manually.

RACES (mouse-over for details)

Dragonborn resemble humanoid dragons. They’re covered in scaly hide, but they don’t have tails. They are tall and strongly built, often standing close to 6½ feet in height and weighing 300 pounds or more.

Dragonborn resemble humanoid dragons. They’re covered in scaly hide, but they don’t have tails. They are tall and strongly built, often standing close to 6½ feet in height and weighing 300 pounds or more.

Drow stand just shy of human height and have slender, athletic builds. Physically, they resemble eladrin, with wiry builds, pleasing features, and midnight black skin that has a blue cast.

Dwarves average about 4½ feet in height and are very broad, weighing as much as an adult human. Dwarves have the same variety of skin, eye, and hair colors as humans, although dwarf skin is sometimes gray or sandstone red and red hair is more common among them.

Eladrin are of human height. They are slim, and even the strongest simply look athletic rather than musclebound. They have the same range of complexions as humans, though they are more often fair than dark. Their straight, fine hair is often white, silver, or pale gold, and they wear it long and loose. Their ears are long and pointed, and their eyes are pearly and opalescent orbs of vibrant blue, violet, or green, lacking pupils.

Elves are slender, athletic folk about as tall as humans. They have the same range of complexions as humans, tending more toward tan or brown hues. A typical elf ’s hair color is dark brown, autumn orange, mossy green, or deep gold. Elves’ ears are long and pointed, and their eyes are vibrant blue, violet, or green.

Every genasi constantly manifests an element. (Genasi have no neutral, nonelemental state.) All genasi are born with one elemental manifestation, a genetic trait that is handed down from hir or her parents. Some genasi learn an additional manifestation in late adolescence or adulthood, and a rare few have several. Genasi are of roughly the same size and proportions as humans, though they tend toward broader physiques that are evidence of their physical strength.

Gnolls tower over humans, with the average gnoll standing over 7 feet tall. Despite their physical strength, gnolls are lean; gnolls are rarely musclebound, and they move with remarkable speed. Their eyes are bright green or yellow, and gleam whenever they catch the light. Gnolls are covered with a thick coat of fur, which generally ranges from light to dark brown; depending on the clan, this might be a uniform color, or broken up by stripes or spots.

Half-elves tend to be sturdier of build than elves but more slender than most humans. Half-elves have the same range of complexions as humans and elves, and like elves, half-elves often have eye or hair colors not normally found among humans. Male half-elves can grow facial hair, unlike male elves, and often sport thin mustaches, goatees, or short beards. Half-elves’ ears are about the size of human ears, but they are tapered, like the ears of their elven ancestors.

Halflings stand about 4 feet tall and weigh about 80 pounds. They resemble small humans and are proportioned like human adults. Halflings have the same range of complexions as humans, but most halflings <br />
have dark hair and eyes.

Humans come in a wide variety of heights, weights, and colors. Some humans have black or dark brown skin, others are as pale as snow, and they cover the whole range of tans and browns in between. Their hair is black, brown, or a range of blonds and reds. Their eyes are most often brown, blue, or hazel.

Minotaurs combine the features of human and bull, having the build and musculature of a hulking humanoid, but with the cloven hooves, a bovine tail, and, their most distinctive feature of all, a bull’s head.

Tieflings’ appearance testifies to their infernal bloodline. They have large horns; thick, nonprehensile tails that range in length from 4 to 5 feet; sharply pointed teeth; and eyes that are solid orbs of black, red, white, silver, or gold. Their skin color covers the whole human range and also extends to reds, from a ruddy tan to a brick red. Their hair, cascading down from behind their horns, is as likely to be dark blue, red, or purple as more common human colors.

Warforged are bulky humanoids fashioned of plates of metal and stone. Supported by a skeleton of similar material and a muscular system of leathery, woody fiber bundles, warforged possess an internal system of tubes filled with bloodlike fluid that nourishes and lubricates their systems. Their powerful arms end in two-fingered, thumbed hands, and their feet each have two broad toes.

CLASSES (mouse-over for details)

Clerics are battle leaders who are invested with divine power. They blast foes with magical prayers, bolster and heal companions, and lead the way to victory with a mace in one hand and a holy symbol in the other.

Clerics are battle leaders who are invested with divine power. They blast foes with magical prayers, bolster and heal companions, and lead the way to victory with a mace in one hand and a holy symbol in the other.

Fighters are determined combat adepts trained to protect the other members of their adventuring groups. Fighters define the front line by bashing and slicing foes into submission while reflecting enemy attacks through the use of heavy armor. Fighters draw weapons for gold, for glory, for duty, and for the mere joy of unrestrained martial exercise.

Paladins are indomitable warriors who’ve pledged their prowess to something greater than themselves. Paladins smite enemies with divine authority, bolster the courage of nearby companions, and radiate as if a beacon of inextinguishable hope. Paladins are transfigured on the field of battle, exemplars of divine ethos in action.

Rangers are watchful warriors who roam past the horizon to safeguard a region, a principle, or a way of life. Masters of bow and blade, rangers excel at hit-and-run assaults and can quickly and silently eliminate foes. Rangers lay superb ambushes and excel at avoiding danger.

Rogues are cunning and elusive adversaries. Rogues slip into and out of shadows on a whim, pass anywhere across the field of battle without fear of reprisal, and appear suddenly only to drive home a lethal blade.

Swordmages apply the arcane arts to melee combat. The combat skills they possess are enhanced by the magic they wield. The flourish of a swordmage’s blade not only bites with steel, but also with fire, lightning, or other powerful forces.

Warlocks channel arcane might wrested from primeval entities. They commune with infernal intelligences and fey spirits, scour enemies with potent blasts of eldritch power, and bedevil foes with hexing curses. Armed with esoteric secrets and dangerous lore, warlocks are clever and resourceful foes.

Warlords are accomplished and competent battle leaders. Warlords stand on the front line issuing commands and bolstering their allies while leading the battle with weapon in hand. Warlords know how to rally a team to win a fight.

Wizards are scions of arcane magic. Wizards tap the true power that permeates the cosmos, research esoteric rituals that can alter time and space, and hurl balls of fire that incinerate massed foes. Wizards wield spells the way warriors brandish swords.

CURRENT ROSTER

Bradylama: Argumentus of Hamfist (Wiki) Human Fighter

knkwzrd: Motsognir the Subgenius (Wiki) Dwarven Warlord

Shin: Scary Bob (Wiki) Elven Wizard

Denicalis: Gabriel Sledgehammer (Wiki) Dwarven Paladin of Kord

a_lurker: Brigid Conmara (Wiki) Halfling Cleric of Melora

RETIRED CHARACTERS

Zephyrin: Fescue Totengeld, Human Rogue

POSSIBLE RESERVES

Garr - Garrmondo Alkatraz (??? Fighter)
orion_mk3
LeHah
Acerbandit (Halfling Warlock)
Skexis - Filigree Hornsby (Human Cleric of Avandra)
Colonel Skills
CetteHamsterLa (maybe?)
Zergrinch - Cal a'Mah of Rhee (Human Ranger)
Zephyrin - Some Dude (Again)
Hawkeye (Eladrin Rogue)
wvlfpvp - Virgil Hatherborne (Watersoul Genasi Swordmage)
packrat - Robin (Warforged Warlock)

RESOURCES

It should go without saying, but these links are for fGFF use only. If I see referrers from any other sites downloading these, they'll be gone. It's not difficult by any means to find these elsewhere, but I provide them for your convenience.

D&D 4th Edition Player's Handbook (with errata)

Forgotten Realms Player's Guide (For Drow, Genasi or Swordmage characters)

Martial Power (Additional options for Fighters, Rogues, Warlords and Rangers)

Adventurer's Vault (Hundreds of items, their functions, and their prices)

Dragon Magazine, #364 (For Warforged characters)

Dragon Magazine, #367 (For Gnoll characters)

Dragon Magazine, #369 (For Minotaur characters)

Blank Character Sheet (Largely unnecessary with the use of the wiki and the Character Bulder, but offered as a low-tech option.)

Denicalis · 06:34 PM

This concept of Superfly Johnson intrigues me. Tell me more.

I'd be down for this, though I haven't played D&D for fucking years. I've got the 4th edition books downloaded, though. When would you want to start? If we have a week or so, I can do my own characters. lvl 1 creation? If you need it sooner than that, sure. A Dwarf with a huge warhammer seems spiffy.

cheetos, mountain dew, virginity etc.

Pangalin · Jun 27, 2008, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by Beard Overflow

This concept of Superfly Johnson intrigues me. Tell me more.

Get the Flash Player to play this audio file:
(Yeah, 1st level. How soon I need it largely depends on how long it takes to find enough people — which is to say you probably have plenty of time.)

Radez29 · Jun 27, 2008, 08:46 PM

I'm intrigued by the fairy aspect of things. And also the righteous bastard aspect of things. Anyway one could be a fairy paladin? =o Flitting around on gossamer wings smiting sodomites sounds fun.

Pangalin · Jun 27, 2008, 08:56 PM

Well, when I say "fairy" this is less Tinkerbell and more Titania & Oberon, so no wings. Limited teleport, though, so there is still flitting.

Radez29 · Jun 27, 2008, 09:04 PM

What if you were a sassbox fairy? Can you teleport over people and sit on them?

edit: actually what I'm asking here is what mood you're going for? Is this going to be entirely tongue in cheek, sardonic and ridiculous, or were aiming for this to be serious?

Pangalin · Jun 27, 2008, 09:13 PM

Well, the problem with being "tongue-in-cheek" per se is that not everybody is good at that and I think I would rather avoid having the whole thing devolve into Monty Python quotes. But I don't think being grim and frostbitten about the whole thing is going to be any fun either so as long as we can avoid turning into Rocky Horror: Orc Dorks Edition, go nuts

knkwzrd · Local time: Jun 27, 2008, 07:15 PM

I have enough time to waste to sign up for something like this.

a lurker · Jun 27, 2008, 10:02 PM

I've never played D&D before but I've played final fantasy and have seen fantasy book covers / van paintings. Is this enough knowledge?

Pangalin · Jun 27, 2008, 10:04 PM

I am fairly sure that zero knowledge would be enough knowledge

Garr · Local time: Jun 27, 2008, 06:41 PM

I've survived a D&D campaign before, and I'm struggling through some terrible skill rolls in the Rifts campaign I'm in right now. I'm by no means a veteran when it comes to D&D, but I had fun with the last campaign I was in and I understand you are a pretty creative guy.

I would very much like in on this.

I can't think of anything awesome as far as a description goes for my character, so it'll be some time before I get it done. Sunday will probably be the earliest I start working on it because double shift Saturdays can kiss my ass.

AcerBandit · Jun 27, 2008, 10:44 PM

Bullshit. 4th Edition?! How am I going to have my dwarf bard, Pang? Huh?!

orion_mk3 · Jun 27, 2008, 10:59 PM

I've only ever played a little 1st edition, using books passed down and venerated through generations. The names of dozens of deceased characters are inscribed inside the covers like a family Bible, from poor yousuc to mighty PhilJr.

I understand that the latest editions of the rules remove all race-based constraints on class? That's the perfect opportunity to create some bizarre combinations, like a halfling fighter specializing in polearms or a tiefling paladin that's always suicidal. Sounds neat; I'm interested.

Denicalis · Local time: Jun 27, 2008, 10:27 PM

Originally Posted by Pangalin

Get the Flash Player to play this audio file: (Yeah, 1st level. How soon I need it largely depends on how long it takes to find enough people — which is to say you probably have plenty of time.)

It hit SUCK IT DOWN and I just burst out laughing. All right. Monday I'm going to write up a character. If you get enough people before then, just go Dwarf Fighter with a Hammer and a can-do attitude.

Elmoogle · Local time: Jun 28, 2008, 12:42 AM

I've always dreamed of being nerdy enough to actually play D&D, but all my friends were always in the middle of a fifteen year campaign or something so I couldn't join. Can you make my dreams come true Pang?

AcerBandit · Jun 28, 2008, 02:43 AM

No, your friends were just being jerks.

Pangalin · Jun 28, 2008, 02:47 AM

Seriously, how long does it take to say Oh hey you guys meet some gnome in a tavern, deal with it

Magus-Cie · Local time: Jun 27, 2008, 11:41 PM

I'd like to get in on this. I have enough time myself to get into this sorta thing, and I got alot of experience with 3.5.