Growing Up Fast

Ever had one incident or a multitude of small ones at the same time that forced you to mature a lot faster than usual?

Recently I was made a leader in my gaming clan, and since then I've had to clean up a lot of forum mess and clutter. Well I've been less "OMG GFF" and realized just how much bullshit mods/admins go through and decided to calm the hell down about stuff over here. Their spam makes ours look like cake walks though, to be honest.

The difference over there is, I have to close/delete but also not hurt the egos of various minors, since that's what our clan mostly is. It's hard, trying not to outright tell someone they're a damn moron for posting x, y and z. Even if I think that, it would just create unnecessary drama, something young girls thrive way too much on =\.

I have only one thing that made me mature literally overnight. Before my grandmother died I was just this really immature, stoner kid right out of high school who still believed in the existence of a higher being.

After she died and I couldn't even make it to the funeral "because god didn't have it in his plans" I realized how naive I had been for 17 years. Overnight I literally decided to stop the whole church circuit, the "therapeutic" bible crew and the rampant (and I do mean RAMPANT) drug & alcohol use.

As most of you probably know, I didn't mature too much. But that was the one thing that sure put life in its entirety into crystal clear focus.

Choking when I was 7 made me grow up fast; I didn't have a normal childhood. And I am still a hypochondriac today.

Splitting up with my bf of 3 years at age 18 also resulted in a spurt of maturity--or more accurately, somewhat of an altered personality. I wouldn't be here at GFF if it were otherwise.

Originally Posted by blue

Choking when I was 7 made me grow up fast; I didn't have a normal childhood. And I am still a hypochondriac today.

Wait... Choking? What happened? If you don't mind sharing...

I choked on a stale bagel... it didn't block my breathing or anything, but it left scar tissue and triggered OCD, anxiety, and the like. I refused to eat solids for a month... Went in for x-rays, barium swallows and stuff. And I wouldn't eat away from home or away from my mom. In elementary school, my lunch consisted of jello, pudding, and yogurt. Pretty nasty.

I eventually grew out of the OCD--and the anxiety, for the MOST part--but I still struggle with depression and the occasional panic attack. Oh, choking. It really shaped who I am, though; I think God used it for good... somehow.

My first year in college caused me to change more than old high school friends I knew. Most of them went to different universities together so they had at least one person they were familiar with, but I went to my school alone. It was a challenge to adapt to a new environment along with increasing responsibilities I had at the time, but the growth was certainly worth it.

Dating someone 5 years older than me when I was only 15 caused me to grow up faster than I should have. It also proved to me how dumb 15 year old girls really are. I grew up the most after a friend of mine killed himself, though. It made me realize that my life actually wasn't that bad. I quit cutting and learned to deal with bad situations in a healthier way.

Getting pregnant and marrying the abusive father of my baby while I was still in high school made me grow up fast. I had to learn to take care of myself, a baby, and support a household really fast because my then-husband refused to work or help me out around the house or with our child in any way.

Not only did I grow up fast, I learned cynicism and mistrust (with a side order of humility since I had to accept help from people I normally woulnd't have asked for air in a jug) at a very early age.

I'm not sure if it caused me to grow up fast, or crippled me from doing so before I ever had a chance to, but I was molested by my father when I was two or three years old. I don't remember it actually happening, so I don't really mind talking about it. I can't be certain of the psychological effects its had on me, but I have a pretty good idea.

After that, my mom had a boyfriend for a real long time that I'd come to consider my father - but she'd never marry him because she's retardedly independent (and incapable of teaching me anything worthwhile on her own). He began to get abusive, so she left him. She's been engaged to a neighbor now for three or four years, but it's too late for me to be able to consider anyone my father now.

Between all that and going to a Catholic elementary school (we weren't beaten or anything; it was the 90's - but we were certainly taught to fear), I've ended up with social anxiety disorder (which makes every single work shift a nerve-wracking hell) and clinical depression (which has killed my motivation to do anything, which led to me dropping out of high school). I'll be nineteen years old in two weeks and I still haven't learned how to drive a car. I have no one to discuss my problems and feelings with because I distrust my friends and despise my mother.

So like I said, I'm not sure if what I've been through (and I'm not saying I've had a hard life, not by any stretch; I guess I'm just another whiny teenager) has made me grow up fast or kept me from growing up at all. On one hand, I think a lot more than most people do, and I'm considerate, respectful, and empathetic of others to a fault. On the other, I don't know how to do anything practical and can't see myself ever having a normal life.

As the eldest "official" grandchild, or more IMPORTANTLY to Asian cultures, the first grandson (the only cousin older than me was conceived earlier than my auntie wanted) I was seen as the "leader" of all 19 of my cousins. I grew up as the example, giving all my other aunties and uncles an idea of how to raise their own kids. I had a bro 1-year younger than me that I helped a lot (as my mother and father worked a lot to get us through the bills etc).

And although I've officialy an adult now I had to discuss, act and be more mature for the rest of my cousins. Well, I didn't need to but being the oldest automatically put me in the position.

But because of that I grew up arrogant and I always wanted to take control. That lead me to be very hated and bashed up (WHICH also forced me to mature, losing what should've been two unforgettable teenage years).

Meh. It's all cool now though.

I think I've been mature beyond my years for most of my life. It's definitely not been an easy one, alcoholic father, a step father who raised me my whole life, but who my mother grew to hate, for whatever reasons. He had some issues, yeah, but if not for him I'd be in prison or something right now, so I think coming to realize that the stuff he bantered on about all the time was actually true, really helped me come around.

I think getting out on my own helped a lot, even though some would say I made a lot of mistakes, I deal with them, and work through them. I don't run away, and try and escape, I just muddle through the best I can.

I think getting arrested at the end of Grade 9 really turned things around for me. It wasn't for anything truly serious or anything, but it scared the shit out of me because it was such a big deal over something so small. I was never in trouble in school since then, so yeah.

Being the oldest in my family added to it as well, I was always to be the responsible one. Overall, I think yeah, I've just matured quickly through my whole life.

It's quite a difficult question, as it really depends on what you mean by maturity and growing up. I've been told since I was in primary school that I was very mature for my age, and I guess it was just learning when to shut up and keep my head down thanks to my childhood that gave that impression. I'm actually quite childish inside.

I side much with Qube's example on this. I've always been two or three if not more years ahead of classmates and what-have-you. In classes I'd crack a joke and get the teacher cackling, but everyone else in the class would be all "what the. I DON'T GET IT *fart* AHAHAH ;D". I have always had a distaste for befriending folks around my age. There are very few that I can get along with. A majority of my friends at college are 25-35. I've got five or so around that age range that I consider very good buds.

No abusive parents or alcoholic binges here. I stepped out of line sometime when I was four or five and my pop layed down the boot strap. I've been in line ever since. Work hard, don't complain, don't quit, & work harder. That's the creed I've more or less lived by all my years.

I've felt the need to be "mature" from really early on. From the time I was a toddler, there were always family issues... and by first grade, a lot stuff had cropped up including my mother getting sick, my parents, and moving a few times. Throughout complusory school I had a lot of other things happen, so I think I "grew up" pretty fast.

I think (like a lot of kids who go through traumatic experiences) I assumed blame and felt the obligation to "do everything right" or things would get even more screwed. I had to assume responsibilities the usual kid didn't have to, and well - I guess I'm really cynical because of everything, too.

Right when I was thrust into university last September, I realized that everything moved at faster pace. You had to do it all on your own, pick your own courses, make sure everything was paid, etc. If I had the funds to live off-campus and decided to pursue that, that would have been an instant wake-up call for me, having to pay rent and bills, and do laundry, etc. It came just a bit harder too since I'm a year younger than everyone (skipped a grade), and I realize that many of my friends are 2-5 years older than me.

I would have to say Rydia's experience is similar to mine. Didn't know anyone when I stepped foot in college. Literally all of my high school acquaintances went to different schools, so I was alone. Luckily I had awesome roommates. And learning how to deal with all types of people and make new friends made me realize that high school for me was a time when I wasn't nearly as grown up.

My first year of college really forced me to hold responsibility with myself and take care of myself. All up until college I was living the lazy easy life under my parent's roof; playing games, etc. But in terms of not relying on parents, yeah, the first year of college did it for me.

I grew up early, definitely. Exposing myself to the internet at around 9 or 10 years old, dealing with teenagers who had drug problems and cybersex and all that bullshit. Online dating shit with people in college who were probably guys, all sorts of crap made me grow up fast and its all because I was a stupid little shit.

I've never really had a childhood, and I never will. It's kind of fucked me up now but I have to keep living. Nothing I can do now.