Your Relationship with your Parents

Originally Posted by Lady Miyomi

Wow, how do you deal with all that negativity, especially from your parents?

I'm just slightly more than a year late replying to Lady Miyomi. Just a year. And a month.

Anyway, dealing with the negativity was quite hard. I became scared to present my marks to my parents. I would either fake them or just not mention the tests since they would conveniently forget. As I grew more scared, my stress levels would increase. My marks steadily decreased from Grade 7 onwards, which was the first year when I wasn't the best in the class.

I considered myself a failure for not being able to meet their expectations. The constant feeling of failure seeped into my thinking. Whenever I got a good mark, it was because of chance. Not because I knew the material well. This was my way of thinking throughout all of high school and most of university. My girlfriend broke me out of it. It took her most of university's second year but she made me compete against my own expectations rather than my parents.

My relationship with parents right now is neutral. It's not worth the physical or emotional effort to argue with them. The only time I'll argue is to defend my younger sister against their way of thinking. After a marks related argument between her and the parents where they went after her head for an hour, she went off muttering "I want to kill myself." I was the only one to take it seriously and try to comfort her.

Hoy, I think the old "the apple didn't fall too far from the tree" is the case here.

So, I am a gamer, like pro-wrestling and into electronics.

My parents played Atari before I was born and as I grew up, stopped, then were introduced to Mario on NES, in which they began to play games again, as much, IF NOT MORE, than me. Heck, what does it say when my mother come home one day with a gamecube after a few hard weeks...for her and my dad?!

My mother and father both enjoy watching pro-wrestling and will talk to me about it. THey started to really watch it around the time my bro and I did, and they have bought more wrestling DVD's and PPVs than me!

If there weren't enough, as I am currently not with my parents, my mom has taken up my trait to make weekly visits to Circuit City to see the newest deals. Now, SHE is the one telling ME about the latest deal she found, or newest technology she bought.

SPeaking of technology, my 'rents saw me get an iPod about two years back. They wondered why...in which my mom one day told me she got a shuffle. Later on, it was a Nano. Now it's a video, with my father and bro getting the pass-me-downs. Whose that walking down walmart listening to his iPod? Yep, my dad!

Personality wise, I am definitely a combination of them. My father's patience, with my mother's stubbornness.

As for my 'rents themselves, well, I can say they have loved me and taken very good care of me. They have worked hard and gone through a lot. They have given up a lot for me and my brother. I hope for myself, of all the above mentioned traits I have gotton from them, the last few I mentioned I will inherit the most.

my relation from my parents is a lot better today than it use to be. Since I've grown up I've grown up a lot more.

As to who I have a bias towards? My dad, definitely. Me and him butt heads sometimes but we act alike when it comes to a lot of things, especially building projects (SON OF A B*TCH!) and whatnot.

I wouldn't say I have an amazing relationship with my parents (or anyone in this family as a matter of fact..), but it isn't horrible. If by close you mean I tell them my feelings and thoughts, no, I am not close with them. I keep my distance from most people, and family just seems to coincide with that.

Surprisingly enough I feel as if I get along better with my father than my mother, and sadly, I think she realizes that too.

I'm sure I've grown away from them over the years, but that's to be expected, considering I'm still young and have "freedom" issues.

I resent them for keeping me locked away. For sheltering me. For pretending everything was fine when there were huge problems. For trying to keep me from making "their mistakes."

I'm sure as I grow up I'll value my family more then I do now, but until then.. this is it.

I gave up trying to keep a relationship (even friendly) with my parents.

After my dad killed himself, I cut the last tie, and I don't see my mom or the rest of my family anymore.

I felt that it wasn't worth it. Not with what was going on in the family anyway.

My relationship with my parents is alright. My mom thinks my animu is the stuff of the devil, but other then that me and her are pretty close I think.

My dad on the other hand likes to remind me constantly that I am worthless. lol.

my relationship w/ them is alright i guess. my mom annoys me a lot sometimes and i hardly talk to my dad but when we do it's all good. i've never really had a huge arguement w/ my parents. if i get mad about something i just keep myself away from them and ignore them. unfortunately, my parents are the ones who are always arguing though. thats what i hate about them. Not ONE day goes by they don't argue and what gets to me most is that it's about the same thing every day! i think it's so stupid arguing the same thing for years. sometimes i wish they'd divorce already. i know they're my parents but as a person, i don't think anyone should go through life arguing w/ the same person.

My mom is a ball of paranoia, which causes alot of friction between her with me and my sis. Every little trivia matter is a crisis to her.

My dad and I used to be close when I was really little, now all he does is mock me at the dinner table like some overgrown big brother. He has no idea how to talk to young people.

My relationship to both goes up and down and up and down. Didn't help that I dropped out of college because I have no idea what I want to do and its wasting fees.

Critism and negativity from them stings, and mom knows how to emotinal black mail me. I wish parents will stop treating their kids like pets in a dog show. I'm a human being dammit, I don't get the immediate answer to what I wanna do as soon as I step out of high school!

Parents need to stop expecting perfection and focusing on letting us do what we want and do our very best in it. Raise us to be human, not gods.

Originally Posted by Kairi Li

Parents need to stop expecting perfection and focusing on letting us do what we want and do our very best in it. Raise us to be human, not gods.

Thank you.

A footnote after reading more posts on the thread. Being a parent doesn't mean your tastes and opinions are absolute. I wish more parents are more accepting to what we enjoy. Remember, Picasso was mocked back in the day and now, parents dragged us to artshows to see his stuff. I'm pretty sure video games and anime will be more respected as time goes on.

My dad thinks video games are silly, dumb, waste of time yada yada. Mom lets me play them but isn't fully supportive either. Bah. That's right, tell me your opinion on something you know NOTHING about.

Though funnily enough, they both enjoyed the Wii. My dad LOVED bowling.

Originally Posted by Kairi Li

A footnote after reading more posts on the thread. Being a parent doesn't mean your tastes and opinions are absolute. I wish more parents are more accepting to what we enjoy. Remember, Picasso was mocked back in the day and now, parents dragged us to artshows to see his stuff. I'm pretty sure video games and anime will be more respected as time goes on.

Let me quote my mother for you:

"I will let you go to jacon, but I think anime is a sissy fag thing."

"All anime is about hermaphrodites and incest."

I don't know what anime she is watching. D:

You would think with the creation of the internet people will research before making their dumb opinions won't they?

If she thinks they're all hermaphrodites, then let me ask one thing, has she MET any young Asian boys before making that lame assumption? Asian boys have slimmer builds and all. Or did she just assume that anime has this weird thing of making men looking more femine?

Parents =/= Gods who know everything. Stop using the pain you gone through in labor as some metaphor that you created all life and know everything.

Originally Posted by Kairi Li

You would think with the creation of the internet people will research before making their dumb opinions won't they?

If she thinks they're all hermaphrodites, then let me ask one thing, has she MET any young Asian boys before making that lame assumption? Asian boys have slimmer builds and all. Or did she just assume that anime has this weird thing of making men looking more femine?

Parents =/= Gods who know everything. Stop using the pain you gone through in labor as some metaphor that you created all life and know everything.

Heh.

I think she honestly thinks the country of Japan is just a cesspool of perverted old men who like drawing odd things and making tv shows out of them.

It doesn't bother me much except when she does stuff like throw away the Death Note poster I won. I mean, my mother is a very kind, loving person, but she is a bit stubborn.

Then again I live in a family where my dad gives my girlfriend dirty looks because she is hispanic, and where my grandmother makes comments about my one of my friends stealing something because he is black.

...Oh god I don't even wanna go there... Why can't people get with the times and stop being racist?!

Originally Posted by Kairi Li

...Oh god I don't even wanna go there... Why can't people get with the times and stop being racist?!

I wouldn't say my mom is racist so much, but yeah, I know.

Originally Posted by Kairi Li

Asian boys have slimmer builds and all.

Oh come on, there's plenty of fat Asian guys out there.

I meant muscles Racin. :P

Well, I dont particularly like my relationship with them.

I never really had a dad in my life [since my parents divorced when I was a baby], and since then I've hardly seen him. He did try to get to know me during 2003, and he was telling my mom that he wanted to have a relationship with me. He sent me cards, called me every week, and I called him. It was really awesome to finally get to know him and what not. I finally visited him in spring of 2004, and when I did, it felt...cold. It didn't feel very much like family, but rather "Oh hello. Mister, i'm just a random kid". We went to NYC together, but it was just weird. After the trip, the phone calls became less and less. The letters stopped coming, and when I invited him to my High School graduation, he didn't come, but rather went on vacation with his other family [in the same city I lived in]. So...after that we stopped talking. I havent heard from him in 3 years.



My relationship with my Mom and I is wearing thin. We don't get along that much, and I feel like i'm being constantly put down by her, and always disappointing her, even when I try to be good and do the right thing. For instance, I could be home one day when she's working, and vacuum the house, clean the dishes and put them away, do my laundry and clean my room. But when she comes home, she'll point out one little thing that I missed or something she wanted done, and all that work I did is null and void because of it. When we argue, I might as well be arguing with a silly 14yrd online. She will not listen to what I have to say, and she will continue to not listen and overpower me with her voice. That will frustrate me, so in turn I start to raise my voice, and then she walks away, telling me I raised my voice first. She belittles my job, telling me I don't do shit there and I make puny hours, so therefore it's not a real job then. She'll never give me an ounce of encouragement or kindness, but rather gives me her grief, guilt and despair. It's wearing me out, and I really want to get out of this house. Unforunately, I have no way of doing that since, I don't make enough money to do that, and I don't have a car. Oh yes, and she tells me satan has a grip on me when I think differently about religion or when we have a heated argument, and the irony is...we have these arugments when she's watching her daily christian shows [Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, Joel Olsteen]. She gets very angry during these shows, and I suffer because of it.

Overall, I dont think I have a good relationship with them. I don't like either of them. It saddens me, and it makes me wish I had a normal family with a Mom, Dad and Brother/Sister who are always there to talk with, and feel loved by all of them, and love them all back. You know, the perfect nuclear family. But I guess that's all a fantasy from TV, books and movies. I wish I had it though.