What is cheating?

Originally Posted by surasshu

Absolutely. If I had been in a serious relationship at the time, I wouldn't have done anything like that (or broken up).

Yeah, and although Bernard Black obviously doesn't want to end this relationship, perhaps she should consider it. Something has obviously gone very wrong. It's possibly not too late to fix it, but only if both parties have a strong desire to set things right.

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Anyway, I also don't see how this is possibly your fault, Bernard Black.

Thirded. I can't see any way it could be. I can see a few reasons she might feel that way, but people blame themselves for things that aren't really their fault all the time.

Ah, well I fight against that kind of talk. We were having problems at the time, always arguing; it was a mixture of his fear of rejection (he's really gone through the emotional shitter concerning past relationships) and my almost entire lack of a libido. If I had made him feel more wanted, he wouldn't have. He said that he reacted to her (by the way, she was a close friend of mine, until I found out, and for that matter, a friend of his to boot) because she made him feel wanted. I failed to do so and as such I don't blame him for turning elsewhere. I blame the little hussie for trying to steal my boyfriend though =/

I know it sounds very cliché of him but he said he realised how much he didn't want to lose me when it dawned on him what he had been doing, and as such "broke things off" with her. It just bothered me that he didn't care to tell me; I think I would have prefered finding out like that than through friends. It also bothers me that he still saw her as a friend for two months after.

I guess it also stings because I always thought she was prettier than me. Perhaps not as nice as me (that shows that she really wasn't at times; I never usually compliment myself like that), but certainly more desirable. Turns out for a while she was. And Electric, I hate to admit it but I do worry. My boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly two years now and there have been rumours of other events but since it's only hearsay provided by my ex and also two girls who were jealous of me for my partner, I'd rather not hold much stock to it. I'm more of the "innocent until proven guilty" type.

For me, flirting would only somewhat qualify as cheating if there was intent or strong desire to carry on a physical relationship with the other person. I tend to flirt a little, but it's really just friendly banter, and my boyfriend really doesn't care. He's an even bigger flirt than me, because that's just how his personality is. He's very social and friendly, and a little light flirting is just an easy way to break the ice with new people for him. As long as any flirting stays as just that, something to do for fun rather than something that leads to anything sexual, I think it's completely acceptable.