Outing yourself to your/a religious family

I was just typing a long letter to my aunt who I have been estranged from for so long. I just was going to tell her that I don't believe in religion or churches or Jesus anymore. Casually. Then I thought about the consequences.

Any thoughts or experiences?

If they don't ask your opinion on something pertaining to it, then don't say anything about it.

Hmm, well it's hard to know, it all depends on the person you're gonna tell this to. It might give you some unnecessary trouble if you do tell her. Unless you feel it's very important that you do tell her, don't.

Well... its somewhat important in sense. I guess I was merely trying to assert myself like I usually do in letters. She's that overbearing kind of woman but she's my main link to the whole family basically. It'd do no good in telling her honestly since she'd just tell everyone.

Then a topic may bring up at a visit to why I didn't get married in a church. Or traditional things I didn't practice like I used to. Blessing at dinner or prayer or such... my uncle (not my said aunt's husband but her brother) is a deacon so we had a lot of religious practices at home.

I thought of telling this to my aunt to soften the blow in case my husband and I were to visit. Its just that it'd be so awkward either way. But I do wish for a visit someday, specifically to my grandmother.

Family is supposed to accept you for who you are. If religion blinds them to the fact that you are still their blood and that they should love you anyway, you are most likely better off without them in your life.

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

If they don't ask your opinion on something pertaining to it, then don't say anything about it.

There's the advice right there. And, depending on the family, if they do ask I'd debate lying. Being militant about the whole thing is only going to create resentment. As far as I'm concerned, most modern monotheistic religions are a load of crap created to control people, but if it makes other people happy and they don't force stuff on me, why should I care? I still go to church a few times a year to keep my mother happy. If I went around saying "God is a lie, your parents are both dead and they're not there in heaven smiling at you, they're rotting 6 feet underground", who does that help or make better?

Yeah, I should just shut up and deal with it, I always have right? I should request my thread-making privileges to be taken away! Asking such a dumb question, silly me. Alright, thank you RacinReaver and Arainach. I'll just go ahead and lock this like a good little girl.

But not without this.

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