Times of Solitude

A lot of the time, if I had a choice in activities and such, I would choose to do a lot of things alone. I prefer to go on walks alone, shop alone, travel alone, work out alone, cook alone, bake alone, study alone...a LOT of things alone. Most of the time, I don't have a choice, and I do like the people who do these activities with me...but sometimes, I just feel like, "Man...I don't want to talk to you anymore. I don't even want to LISTEN to you anymore. I want to BE ALONE." Or when I'm about to go do something with my friends, I'll have little flashes of intense "ugh, I don't want to go" moments (although I usually have fun with whatever we end up doing).

If I had a choice, though, of being alone a majority of the time, or being with people a majority of the time, I would choose being alone.

What about you guys? Do you enjoy solitude and the chance to be alone with your thoughts...or are you a people people I need people person?

Well, I'm trashed. My shirt smells like Marlboro Smooths and my breath stinks of Old Crow. I don't purchase either of those, ever. You do the math,

I don't very often have times I wish that I could just be alone. However friends coming over and only wanting to play games that we could (and do) just play over X-Box Live rather then do something else is rather annoying.

I'm very similar. I enjoy my 'alone time' very much. I need it to stay balanced. That doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with others. I will spend time with my wife and family a good bit.

However, there are times when I just need that 'alone time' to feel balanced. Also, especially within recent years, I have not seen my friends as much because it's hard for me to relate to them. Unless I really know the person well, a conversation only goes for a few minutes before it gets quiet.

In general, I prefer being alone or just taking it easy. It's not like I don't want to be around people, but many times I just feel that I'm wasting time and that I'd rather do something else on my own cause I know very well how to keep myself entertained. I'm not too good at entertaining people so I get kind of restless when I'm with people who need to be constantly entertained. I go better with people who are easy going and people who just like having a nice talk/discussion or taking a walk or something, doing whatever comes off at the top of your head.

Interesting discussion.. I guess it comes down to the people around you. I consider myself a pretty social person, although I'm pretty picky when it comes to people. But with those really good friends I certainly enjoy the company. I also sometimes love being alone, listening to music while having a nice walk outside can be so relaxing. And after being in work all day listening to people who you really don't care about, having that time for yourself can be just the thing you need.

But in the long run I need people around me. There's just so many things in this world that you get much more out of if you share it with someone.. and seriously, a nice long conversation with a friend is way better than some internet discussion

So you just need to find some good people around you. I gotta admit I wouldnt' spend more time than I actually have to with most of the people who I'm in contact during the day (people at work etc.)

Edit: Btw nanaman, who's the artist in the avatar?

Being alone doesn't bother me. I'm never really bored alone, and I enjoy my own company.

But since I've had a man in my home, I don't get to the point where I want him to just go away, or leave me alone, or whatever. I think it helps that we both get plenty of alone time during the day due to scheduling or whatever. We're together almost all the time, but we don't always interact.

If I want alone time, I usually get it somewhere during the week. Which is fine by me. I don't require a lot of alone time, but I don't cling.

There was a time in which I spent the majority of my time by myself, and as easy as it was to keep myself entertained it doesn't appeal to me as much as what it use to.

I'm at this point in time that I absolutely love to socialize and be around other people. Unfortunately that mentality doesn't exist when I'm working up here. A lot of my time is spent working that I just get really tired, I don't tend to socialize a lot. I usually spend a lot of time alone while I'm working up here, but when I get home I tend to be very social.

The only time I really want to spend some time alone while I'm back in Newfoundland is when I'm in a bad mood. I really don't want to take my bad mood out on anybody, so I usually just take some time to myself. Sometimes I like to be alone when I go for walks. I also like to be alone when I'm deep in thought.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

But since I've had a man in my home, I don't get to the point where I want him to just go away, or leave me alone, or whatever.

So, is Dope aware you've installed a man in your home and that you don't get tired of him? I imagine it might emasculate the boy to know you've done that to him.

Also, Mike Rowe avatar is wicked sweet.

And like most people, I split my social and my private time. Frank might be large on the constant need to be around people, or at least play at it, but I can't swing that. I'm more social than most, but some nights I just want to be left the hell alone to my books, or my writing. Something to reconnect with who you are when you're not in public. I'd think most people who weren't utter social recluses are like this.

I used to think that I enjoy my alone time, but there would be this blaring in the back of my head that demanded to be around others that would cause me to lament for awhile till I eventually got the chance and realized that I'd rather be alone again.

Made me crazy and fearful that I wouldn't know how to balance a relationship if my desire to be alone was so strong. But then there are the anomalies to consider. I can think of probably one person whom I have absolutely no reservations being around. Of course I occasionally want my solitude when we're together but it doesn't stop me from wanting to hang out if the opportunity presents itself.

So I think it just comes down to an issue of logistics. There are only certain people I'm willing to be around and the rest of my time is reserved for me. Which in all likelihood could very well change in the near or distance future, but in the mean time me, myself, and I are getting along fine.

I actually can't make my mind up. I used to be quite the social recluse but recently I've been getting random urges to socialise. I think it's because I can't stand myself at the moment and if I focus on other people then I don't have to look at myself. However, as soon as I'm with people I want to be by myself again.

Also, I don't like doing things with people I don't know very well. It just freaks me out. I'm fine if you are persistent and break down my barrier of fear, or if I'm drunk.

I must admit that I'm more solitary than I am social. I like to go out and spend time with my friends a few times each month, but a lot of the time I crave solitude and the freedom to just do my own thing. I wouldn't want to be a complete recluse, but there's definitely a hard limit to how much social time I can tolerate.

I have a lot of interests which are basically solitary pursuits. Either they only work for one person, or I'm the only person I know who takes any interest in that kind of thing. It's somewhat lonely, I rather wish I had some more friends who share my interests.

The exception to all of the above is my girlfriend though. Somehow I never feel the urge to be alone instead of being with her, no matter how much we hang out. She shares my interests, which helps. She's the only one who really does.

Originally Posted by Denicalis

So, is Dope aware you've installed a man in your home and that you don't get tired of him? I imagine it might emasculate the boy to know you've done that to him.

Let me tell you: he's heartbroken.

Quote:

Also, Mike Rowe avatar is wicked sweet.

As is Mike Rowe. <3 (It thrills me that you know who he is)

I came back only because I felt I didn't properly address the question. I addressed it in light of my living arrangement, and not my social life.

I have a small group of close-knit friends. I'm not sure what the criteria is for a close friend, since I have plenty of acquaintances as well. I just happen to not hang out with them much.

I do this mostly because I feel that if I should have too many friends, I won't have enough time or attention for the closer friends or myself. I have limited time on the weekends, and I like to devote it to my friends and having a good time.

But I also need some... quiet time on occasion. Too many parties, too much driving, and too much being polite all the time can get on a girl's nerves. ^_^

I like nothing better than sitting on the side of a hill in my town with a pack of fags, a book and some music. I'm pretty fucking insecure around people I've never met, but that aside, a good deal of the time I'm so much more comfortable spending time alone. There's nobody in my life whose company I'd always choose over solitude.

Conversely, there are plenty of times I get down when I know I've passed up an opportunity for human interaction. I'd say my preferences are half-and-half. My ability to relate to other people swings wildly.

Originally Posted by kikkeli

Edit: Btw nanaman, who's the artist in the avatar?

Click to show the off-topicness:

The artist in my avatar is Masato Honda. His main instrument is the (alto) saxophone, but he plays all from soprano to baritone saxophone and he also plays lots of different instruments like trombone, trumpet, clarinet, flute etc. etc. His genre of music is jazz fusion so there are times he also plays the EWI which is a quite cool instrument if you ask me. He's played with the japanese-fusion band called T-Square but for now he's playing as a solo artist with his band.

There are quite a few good videos of him out on youtube, here are some to give you an idea of what he's like

YouTube - Masato Honda - Crescent Moon (2001)
YouTube - Masato Honda - Parallelogram (2001)
YouTube - Masato Honda - Sonata No. 18 for Saxophone (2001)
YouTube - Masato Honda - Athlete (playing the EWI here)
YouTube - Masato Honda with VOE - Megalith

Originally Posted by Denicalis

And like most people, I split my social and my private time. Frank might be large on the constant need to be around people, or at least play at it, but I can't swing that. I'm more social than most, but some nights I just want to be left the hell alone to my books, or my writing. Something to reconnect with who you are when you're not in public. I'd think most people who weren't utter social recluses are like this.

Eh, it's just the way things work out. Also, I'm pretty sure I was trashed when I made that post, and I'm sure that had some impact on the content. To be completely honest, I wouldn't mind having some more time to myself, but I think I get enough.

My preference seems to be whatever I have less of at the moment. In high school, all I wanted was alone time, because I never got much of it. I had to hide in my room to get any at all, and that wasn't foolproof. Once I got to college I hated being alone, because it felt like I had to be so much of the time, and not by choice. I really grew to loathe eating alone.

Now I feel like I have a pretty good balance. I would say I'm more social than not, but I manage to find time for myself. I've discovered that I really much prefer to shop alone. And with the baby, time to myself is really quite precious. Honestly, sometimes I even treasure being able to go to the bathroom alone.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Let me tell you: he's heartbroken.

Loss of the Bruins in the playoffs will do that.

I know. ;______;

Quote:

As is Mike Rowe. <3 (It thrills me that you know who he is)

Lady, I've loved that man since he was on the Shopping Channel. And there is no late night viewing better than Dirty Jobs.