The "Line"

Not all cultures are determined by race, and that's definitely what you're implying.

Originally Posted by a_licenwondrland

I married my cousin, although he's not a close cousin, and it's not as big a deal as people make it out to be. It's very common in many cultures to marry a relative.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but here's my "line": I wouldn't date anyone of another race or religion. There are just too many cultural differences, and marriage is hard enough without all the disagreements that would arise as a result of being raised in such different environments.

WHAT. THE. FUCK?

You know, I think you're a swell gal and all, but this really pisses me off. You just ASSUME that because someone is of a different skin-colour, that they don't know all the "white" traditions?

We darkies don't live in our own little reservations, certainly not in Europe anyway. I can only speak for the UK but it'd be hard to find a "ghetto" here. We have to mix and be a part of the dominant culture and the vast majority of us know all there is to know about the countries we are in, especially people who are second/third generation and pretty much totally Westernised.

Now, you might assume because of your limited contact (or bad experiences) with non-progressive minorities, that they are inflexible and close-minded, but that's not always the case. Conflict on the tiniest details? Would you even consider marrying/dating someone like that anyway? Of course you wouldn't, because you'd be able to tell from a very early stage if someone was so rabidly fanatical about their "traditions" that it would cause disharmony further down the line.

You could just have said "I am more attracted to white guys" and I would find that perfectly acceptable. I, for example, haven't encountered a single Asian female in my life that I could tolerate.

I don't know how it is for people down there, but in my opinion, you can SCREW the family and its beliefs; if you are in love with someone, you're marrying that person, and to hell with whoever stands in your way or tries to enforce their cultural differences on you.

Don't assume we are all the same with a preconceived notion of what minorities are like, when you clearly haven't seen the full spectrum; obviously you haven't, otherwise you wouldn't say such a thing.

Alice can hardly be called a racist just because she has some preferences as to what kind of person she's attracted to.

I bet NO ONE here can tell me they are open to EVERYTHING when it comes to the personality traits, religious beliefs, or ethnicity of a prospective partner.
There will ALWAYS be something that gets in the way.
However, that's only a problem if you let it become one.

I'm quite open when it comes to women, but I realised that I do PREFER Asian girls.

Way to steer this thread off course, SMX.

And Ulysses....

Quote:

I don't know how it is for people down there, but in my opinion, you can SCREW the family and its beliefs; if you are in love with someone, you're marrying that person, and to hell with whoever stands in your way or tries to enforce their cultural differences on you.

That sounds awfully like you're telling your partner to totally abandon their family and/or beliefs just because YOU don't like them.
Last I checked, that's not a really easy thing to do.
Being someone's partner means that you ACCEPT who they are, who their family is, and what their beliefs are.
That statement just makes you sounds very ignorant.

I don't think that Alice is racist, at least from what she posted in this thread. Now, prejudiced might be the word...

Originally Posted by Dictionary.com

prej·u·dice n. 1. An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.

Having preferences is one thing; assuming that everyone is the same and avoiding them because of that belief of belief is another. Keep an open mind. Just because a person is of a certain ethnicity or background doesn't mean they fit the bill often associated with them. That's called stereotyping.

Originally Posted by Tama8-chan

And Ulysses....


That sounds awfully like you're telling your partner to totally abandon their family and/or beliefs just because YOU don't like them.
Last I checked, that's not a really easy thing to do.
Being someone's partner means that you ACCEPT who they are, who their family is, and what their beliefs are.
That statement just makes you sounds very ignorant.

Well you could hardly be more wrong, then. I'm saying that if it came down to the wire, and you loved each other enough, you'd have to face a choice, right? It's a choice I will inevitably have to make myself actually, and i'll probably lose the acceptance of my family in the process. If a family doesn't like your choice of partner for GOOD, VALID reasons, then they'd have a point. I am talking about blind discrimination/racism, that isn't really justifiable but which remains a common thing especially in the older members of families.

I don't think she is a racist either, but that she may still have the wrong views, or at the very least not a total view of things. Like we all do to a varying degree. I'm just a little sensitive about things like this, especially being a victim of racism in the past. Rubs me the wrong way.

EDIT: Oh yeah and Tama8-chan, i'm not talking about orientals; here in Britain Asians refer to people from the Indian sub-continent. So no, I wasn't insulting the women you prefer :P.

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

SMX, you are either incredibly naïve or stupid if you believe there aren't vastly more differences between people raised in different cultures/religions/races than between people of the same cuture/religion/race.

I can't even believe I'm debating this with you. I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are the most idealistic person I've ever dealt with if you really believe that PC tripe.

I like how you switched from logic attack to person attack mode so smoothly, Alice. Great job.

Not that I agree with Alice in any shape or form, but I have to wonder exactly how far the PC bandwagon is going to take it.

Not only content to go about determining how everybody should speak, now they want people to take their advice when it comes to relationship preferences?

What does the anti-racism, anti-preduce, anti-stereotyping brigade have to say about what I had for dinner?

was it multicultural and open-minded enough for everybody?

Well done in derailing this further DG. The fact is that Alice automatically dismisesed the prospect of a relationship with anyone other than a white christian american on a naive belief that differences between her group and others must be too immense to build a relationship on. Which is fucking nonsense.
Love is little more than friendship with a physical attraction, I'm sure Alice would have no problem being friends with people of other races creeds and nationalities. But why would she then have a problem with kissing one?

Well, because she possibly can't see out of her own backyard.

My point is that perhaps she shouldn't have to open up something so personal to the criticism and recommendations of other people, or at least shouldn't have to submit to being barraged with endless 90s feelgood rhetoric about us all being the same deep down.

...besides, she already married her cousin so unless he carks it, darkie is just going to have to have to wait his turn to take a shot at this prize pony.

I wouldn't have a problem kissing them, RAB. I'd probably even let them get to third base. =p

You guys are missing my point, though. In all seriousness, I just think that a person should really consider the big picture when they become involved with someone.

I posted the same thing in a religion thread once. Marriage is hard enough without having to debate the little things. Let's just say I married a Jewish guy. Now, if he happened to not be very devout, things would go more smoothly, of course. But if he was really into his faith, there would constantly be issues about how and when and WHO we worship, what we eat for dinner, etc. Those kinds of differences are perfectly acceptable between friends, but in a marriage - NO WAY. If you guys want to deal with that, fine. I'm in no position to tell you how to live your lives. I just happen to prefer eliminating the possibility that I won't have a partner who goes to church with me.

Is that so wrong?

I think it's sad that people think they have the right to tell others what they should permit in their own personal lives. If I want to avoid spending the rest of my life with a person who believes that we should bow down to Allah every morning and evening, who are any of you to tell me that's wrong? I'm entitled to my preferences the same as anyone else. And once again, it's not that I think I'm better IN ANY WAY.

I don't see why it matters whether you think you're better or not.

You didn't ask to be fixed out of the position of being some sort of horrible relationship racist that everybody else is making you out to be.

You can choose to date and find garbage cans attractive for all it should fucking matter to the rest of the world.

I just laugh when everybody dives and attacks at the scent of racism or stereotypical views, because their english teachers told them to, like rhinoceroses running stomping out a fire.

My point is perhaps that such bigots should be left to inbreed (no personal offense this time) themselves into oblivion, not that what you have said convicts you of any such crime.

Ah see religion I can understand to a degree, btu you brought race into it too.

So you think there aren't some pretty major cultural differences between races?

Alice is stereotyping. Period.

Stereotypes are there for a reason, I'll give you that one, but assuming everyone fits those beliefs is wrong. If Alice doesn't want to take that chance, it's her business. But the fact stands that that's what she's doing.

I could start throwing around statements about how Alice could fit into Southern White Trash stereotypes (hell, she married her cousin), and we all know how far that'd get me.

Quote:

So you think there aren't some pretty major cultural differences between races?

Maybe between a Kenyan and a Bulgarian, but there are equally major cultural differences within "races," (think the differences between Bulgarian and Italian culture, or the differences between Kenyan and Guinean culture, or whatever). However, why would there be a distinction between two people who grew up in the same culture because their skin is a different color, which is whaft you are implying?

So, alice, would you do someone whose grandfather was black?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

So you think there aren't some pretty major cultural differences between races?

I think its funny that you'd probably disregard anyway saying something negative about you marrying your cousin, because what matters is that you love him, but the same can't be applied to someone of another race. If you love someone enough to want to marry them, why couldn't you manage "cultural differences?" Seems like an excuse, or you're just lazy in that regard.

(ps 88)

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

I wouldn't have a problem kissing them, RAB. I'd probably even let them get to third base. =p

You guys are missing my point, though. In all seriousness, I just think that a person should really consider the big picture when they become involved with someone.

I posted the same thing in a religion thread once. Marriage is hard enough without having to debate the little things. Let's just say I married a Jewish guy. Now, if he happened to not be very devout, things would go more smoothly, of course. But if he was really into his faith, there would constantly be issues about how and when and WHO we worship, what we eat for dinner, etc. Those kinds of differences are perfectly acceptable between friends, but in a marriage - NO WAY. If you guys want to deal with that, fine. I'm in no position to tell you how to live your lives. I just happen to prefer eliminating the possibility that I won't have a partner who goes to church with me.

Is that so wrong?

I think it's sad that people think they have the right to tell others what they should permit in their own personal lives. If I want to avoid spending the rest of my life with a person who believes that we should bow down to Allah every morning and evening, who are any of you to tell me that's wrong? I'm entitled to my preferences the same as anyone else. And once again, it's not that I think I'm better IN ANY WAY.

But you think that christian american men are

Quote:

I bet NO ONE here can tell me they are open to EVERYTHING when it comes to the personality traits, religious beliefs, or ethnicity of a prospective partner.

I was going to say 'me' but the personality trait thing stopped me. Good show , but when it comes to religious beliefs:

Quote:

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but here's my "line": I wouldn't date anyone of another race or religion. There are just too many cultural differences, and marriage is hard enough without all the disagreements that would arise as a result of being raised in such different environments.

Being christian I was taught to accept the cultural differences in the world. "I" would not have a problem, but the person might still be uncomfortable. On edge and waiting for me to say something..

I used to only wanted to date white girls because black girls only wanted to argue all the time. It's generalizing I know. However, I had went back to my roots. Lots of white girls prefer to date within thier ethnic group which is cool.