The "Line"

I'm sure that we've all heard the saying, "all's fair in love and war," but lately I've been thinking... most people have "standards" and lines that they won't cross when they're looking for a partner.

For some examples... most cultures around the globe frown on incest. I know that at least most Americans believe that dating a friend's ex is taboo. Maybe going out with your teacher's a no-no, but what about after passing their class? Then there are other cirumstances... for instance, dating a co-worker, superior/inferior, etc. How much does the age difference have to be before it's too extreme?

In short, what lines do you believe that you just shouldn't cross?

I guess I can savely consider anyone from my family and close friends (and their partners) taboo. While I do not perceive incest or adultery as sins or crimes per se - we're talking consensual activities here, between people old enough to judge - it's just plain idotic to complicate you single largest base of support in life and the lifes of several people, supposedly very close and important to you.
Apart from that, there isn't really anything definite left for me, but a lot I could easily end up feeling bad about (the co-worker or friend's ex scenarios come to mind). And I always felt that the less complicated a relationship starts out, the better the chances it will make it in the long run.

Tails. Tails is my line. Everything else is fair game.


I'd hit Tails.

I draw the line at relatives.

There was a case here recently where a female teacher (fucking hot, too) slept with a 15 year old male student, who is now 18.
The media put all their 'sympathies' on the STUDENT, making the teacher out to be a sexual predator and pedophile.

But you shoulda seen the guy on TV.
In all the interviews, he's tryin to TALK in a slow, depressed way as if the experience SCARRED him for LIFE, but can SEE the smirk on his FACE.
That look of self-gratification.

Now, I see the problem with student/teacher relationships.
When it's NOT a student/teacher relationship anymore, then that's fine.
However, I see no problem with office relationships between consenting adults, so long as they don't hamper the work environment in any way.

One thing I'm open to debate about is dating a friend's ex.
My stance is no, but there's a period of time after the breakup where it may be ok to date them.
At least a year or something? Or when both parties have moved on.

In terms of age....sure there are laws in place to protect minors from pedos, but there are some who genuinely like/love each other, and not because of the exploitive nature of dating an underage person.

As a general rule of thumb, if there's a law against it, it's probably not a good idea. Well, barring crazy fundie laws, anyway.

I stay away from anybody who's already in a relationship. Angry boyfriends are just not worth it. Besides which, relationships are as fragile as autumn leaves these days, so if you keep your distance but stick around, you can be there for her on the rebound. Patience is a virtue.

I married my cousin, although he's not a close cousin, and it's not as big a deal as people make it out to be. It's very common in many cultures to marry a relative.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but here's my "line": I wouldn't date anyone of another race or religion. There are just too many cultural differences, and marriage is hard enough without all the disagreements that would arise as a result of being raised in such different environments.

Well you are from the south.

My cousins are hot and it's legal in this state but I still wont go there. As for my line, I'd say any girl who weighs more than me. Fattys are out.

It's legal in every state in the US, and my cousin is hot, too. =p

In my state (North Carolina), you can't marry a "double first cousin" (siblings from one family marry siblings from another family and have children - their children are double first cousins). Anything farther apart than that gets a green light.

I don't think that sort of arrangement even exists in my country. It would have never happend.

You do realise your first post in this thread REEKED of redneckism though?

I don't think rednecksim is a word. I certainly don't think that rednecks are the only ones involved in this behavior.

Anyways, my line, besides what was mentioned in the first post, is dating someone I know is going to die. There seems to be no point to it. "I'll make you happy for a few months. Then, you'll die and I will be quite sad."

So you'd rather they are jsut in misery for their last few months? You selfish bastard!

Originally Posted by a_licenwondrland

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but here's my "line": I wouldn't date anyone of another race or religion. There are just too many cultural differences, and marriage is hard enough without all the disagreements that would arise as a result of being raised in such different environments.

Either your area is horribly segregated, or you’re butter up blatant discrimination.

As soon as I saw that you had posted here, I knew that's what you had said.

*Yawn* So predictably wrong.

I like how there are essentially no cultural differences between black and white Americans anyway. You're all Christian right?
TOO MUCH TRUBBLE!

I can only assume you're joking.

Originally Posted by a_licenwondrland

As soon as I saw that you had posted here, I knew that's what you had said.

*Yawn* So predictably wrong.

Okay, so basically you're saying that a person's race makes them a part of a particular culture then?

No, there are exceptions to everything. But what are the odds that I'd have ended up with someone of another race who had been brought up in a "white" environment? Ditto with religion and I'm not taking any chances. That's why I'd never cross that line.

Anyway, I'm married so it's a moot point. I'm just saying I wouldn't want to get serious with someone whose beliefs were vastly different from mine.

I must've been under the false impression that culture was determined by nationality and religion.

Originally Posted by a_licenwondrland

But what are the odds that I'd have ended up with someone of another race who had been brought up in a "white" environment?

You see, this statement alone is what let me knew that your experiences with multiculturalism has probably been limited/segregated. Everybody are not tools and blindly go with what their culture dictates as right. Some people/families actually have more independent thinking. They can not only identify with people outside of their alleged culture, but accept and embrace aspects of others.

So once again *yawn* your conflict identification (race/culture) is off. It’s the person, or maybe family that counts. If you had a more multicultural experience, this wouldn’t be so foreign/unlikely to you. But since you seem to habitually be incapable of seeing things outside or your own perspective, I don’t really expect you to understand it, either.

I can accept and identify with people outside my cultural background just fine. I adore learning about people who are different than me, and I'm fascinated with other cultures. Also, I don't happen to think that my culture and background is more "right" than anyone else's. That doesn't mean I want to be married to someone with whom there will be constant differences of opinion on the most trivial of matters because of different upbringings.

I like how you're trying to twist what I've said into something racist. It's not surprising that you would do that, but it's pretty disappointing.

Originally Posted by a_licenwondrland

I can accept and identify with people outside my cultural background just fine. I adore learning about people who are different than me, and I'm fascinated with other cultures. Also, I don't happen to think that my culture and background is more "right" than anyone else's. That doesn't mean I want to be married to someone with whom there will be constant differences of opinion on the most trivial of matters because of different upbringings.

I like how you're trying to twist what I've said into something racist. It's not surprising that you would do that, but it's pretty disappointing.

I whole-heartedly agree with this and your other posts here, Alice. I believe that race and background should be important here. Some people find people of different races, religion, childhoods, etc. that they can identify with. I, however, do not happen to be one of those people.