A thought about growing older

I was just wondering about patronization. Since I've gotten to college, I've gone on several trips with various 21-25 year olds. Being 18-19 for these past two years, I've been subject to some rather demeaning patronization, which I could truly care less about, honestly.

My ponderance is, when does that stop? I mean, my mother who is 40 looks at those 25-year olds as children who see me as a "young-un"

Does this ever stop? Does a 70 year old complain to a 90 year old to have the 90 year old say "Don't worry, you'll understand when you're older" or what?

It's just confusing and almost promising that it never stops, that you'll never truly reach the pinnacle of age above others until you're dead or too old to care (which is really ironic to a young person like me).

What do you think?

My husband's grandmother who is 86, said that my father, who is 50, is still a "young 'un". I don't think it ever really stops. People who are older will always think they are wiser. =)

More importantly who cares? I think your giving something like this a little too much thought then its warranted. Just go with the flow. = V

There comes a point in time where a person's age doesn't matter to you. You're not there yet. I am. Give it time and you will be, and this won't matter at all.

I patronize people older than me. What does this mean.

Something about forgetting how to use a question mark, I think.

Originally Posted by nadienne

I patronize people older than me. What does this mean.

You're being cocky.

Somehow, for me, the early 20s and late 20s seem to occupy two different sides of a huge gulf, and I often see those in their late 20s patronizing people my age.

Although I guess I am guilty of holding a patronizing attitude towards teenagers.

I think the attitude will die off by the time you go into your 40s.

I need to subscribe to this thread, since having people 21 and younger talk about getting older is about the most entertaining thing going on here this weekend.

Originally Posted by NYRSkate

I need to subscribe to this thread, since having people 21 and younger talk about getting older is about the most entertaining thing going on here this weekend.

You should get acquainted with the term "quarter-life crisis". It's quite an illuminating, if not an uneccessary distinction.

I'm past that point, you know. I just like watching the young'uns squirm when faced with the same quagmire.

Here's a little something to give you jollies.

I'll admit that I am somewhat terrified at the prospect of life after graduation because I have the feeling that somehow I'm not doing enough to prepare for it. Grad school applications, resumes, actually putting some "purpose" to your life . . . I must be living under a rock to not notice these forthcoming events because I'm far too preoccupied being an irresponsible undergrad to notice them, and now I'm starting to get my act together. Hopefully it isn't too late.

It's never too late. The only way to gain life experience is to experience life. I'm no better or worse off than you, just older. I can be relaxed about a lot of things you're not since I've been in the game for years.

Don't let Skate fool you. I'm 25, I STILL get patronized. I'm just at the age when I tell people, and seriously, to sod off. Everyone that is except my grandmother. I catch myself a lot patronizing people younger than me too. It guess it's just something part of human nature.

As far as those college trips, that's just good old senior/freshman harassment. That passes in time.

Humm I don't seem to have this problem.

deadally everyone is going to get a little shit now and again, just roll with the punches and return them the favor. It is more fun that way.

I'm 17, so:
- I get asked for id when buying games and such, I look too young
- no one believes that I attend University
- early last year around when I recently turned 17, I got a kid's menu at chili's (WTH!? I was offended!)
- no one would think that I'm driving age already
- people think I'm too young to be working (probably why I can't find any jobs, despite all the experience on my resume *rolls eyes*), there are a handful of people at almost every job I've had that think I'm not old enough and tell me straight up or indirectly.
- etc.

Point being I'm not exactly 20s-wise at all, but I'm rather handicapped by appearance when people have to look at my age. I'm young to EVERYone; even my friends (I'm at least one or two years younger than all of them). I believe that I am obviously in the process of growing older but my environment thinks otherwise.

I'm completely the opposite of you Summonmaster, and it's great.

I just turned 17 and everyone assumes I'm in my mid 20's. People thought I was in university in grade nine. I think it's the facial hair more than any kind of maturity I possess, though.

There may not come a t time when peopel stop patronising you, but there will come a time when you cease to let it bother you. That's assuming that my own experience is universal, of course.

Nope, it never ends because there's always someone younger and older than you. The cycle keeps repeating itself with them.

I'm 37 and I still feel patronized at times. Admittedly, it's usually by people who have no idea how old I am and once they find out, they magically start treating me with much more respect, but it still happens.

I try really hard not to do it to others, but sometimes it's SO HARD.

Originally Posted by Dullenplain

I'll admit that I am somewhat terrified at the prospect of life after graduation because I have the feeling that somehow I'm not doing enough to prepare for it. Grad school applications, resumes, actually putting some "purpose" to your life . . . I must be living under a rock to not notice these forthcoming events because I'm far too preoccupied being an irresponsible undergrad to notice them, and now I'm starting to get my act together. Hopefully it isn't too late.

You know, if you put some "purpose" to your life at 25 or under, you're probably making a huge mistake.

No "purpose" can be easily determined when you've hardly experienced anything. And I am not tryin gto be condescending - sorry if it comes across as that. I am 24, so I am right in there with you.

But the people who send you away to college and make you think that grad schools, resumes, et cetera arethe ones who are doing you an injustice in my opinion. They wrap you up in things that just DON'T MATTER so much as actually living. Understand their motivations, here.

Sure, you'll need to do these things. And sure, they're useful. But in reality, it's not about the school you go to, the resume you've got, or who you had as a professor in your grad school. It's about what you do with it all and how you use it.

And if you decide life isn't what you wanted it to be, you can always go back and change it up. College and all that bullshit IS NOT the end-all, be-all. Never let someone tell you that you need to find your "purpose" before you turn 40. Thats fucking retarded. Some people die without having ever found a purpose, and they loved their life.

Incidentally, I rarely get condescended to about my age. Even when I was a kid, people tried to teach me things so I would never have to be naive. Too bad I came out kind of naive in a way, huh?

The only time I ever get any shit is when I get overly-idealistic about the way things SHOULD be. "O, you're in your 20s. THATS NORMAL." I guess all twenty-somethings are liberal, pinko, communist hippies. Pffth.

The one thing I've been thinking about lately is: I'm terrified of losing all my ideals, even if they're stupid. They all seem to be going out the window at a breakneck pace the last couple years.

When I make peace with this I figure I'll be getting somewhere. Every once in a while I meet an older person with the same sort of ideals I hold now, just broadened and loosened enough to encompass reality, and that makes me feel better.

The best and worst parts of getting older is realizing that all sorts of things you spent years spazzing out about are now things you don't even waste any thought on.