Abusive Relationships

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Disagree.

Assess situation. Determine algorithm. Problem solved.

Since when can you determine all the factors involved in a situation that involves multiple persons, emotions, experiences, mental processes, traumas?

Life isn't math. FAIL.

Quote:

Because I intend to go out with a bang, Devo.

No one steps on me and I subsequently back down. This never happens. I will go through hell and back to make sure the person who did me wrong gets theirs.

What if your situation never changes. What then?

Originally Posted by Devo

What if your situation never changes. What then?

Okay, so either I'm going to have to close this thread or make a new one in angst.

Which will it be, guys.

You don't have to, people are basically seeing the denial of an abused person first hand with your replies.

"Oh he'll change."
"This situation won't last."
"I can beat them."

Originally Posted by Devo

You don't have to, people are basically seeing the denial of an abused person first hand with your replies.

"Oh he'll change."
"This situation won't last."
"I can beat them."

I don't think abused people say that, really. Especially when they're winning. =D
(also, on a personal note, there is a rather large change coming up. To which I've had a hand in. And there's nothing she can do. In fact, she's decided to work for the other guys. That will be in September. So theres that. Win.)

So I guess I'll close this now?

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Yeah i have no response to your logical words. Closed?

Okay fine.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

I never said it wasn't. I made it very clear that I understand that people have a hard time, Devo. I am saying that eventually, these people will wake up, have enough, and decide to make their own decisions. Be the boss, essentially.

Yeah, I'd have to agree. You can only fool yourself for so long. One day, the same old shit will start happening again, just like it always does, and the person who is the target of the abuse will just realise that life's too short to deal with this crap, no matter how much they think they love that person. Been there. Done that.

Originally Posted by Russ

That's stupid. Why don't you just be the bigger person, remove yourself from the situation, and save yourself some frustration and RAGE.

Oh come on... I'm pretty sure that Sass actually enjoys RAGE. Why would she want to save herself from that?

Originally Posted by Soluzar

Oh come on... I'm pretty sure that Sass actually enjoys RAGE. Why would she want to save herself from that?

Kinda do. Its like playing with that cut on your lip. Or maybe playing with fire. CHALLENGE.

And Devo, what do you want me to say. I approach life in a different way than you do. I don't have sympathy for stupid broads. What do you want from me.

Originally Posted by Soluzar

Yeah, I'd have to agree. You can only fool yourself for so long. One day, the same old shit will start happening again, just like it always does, and the person who is the target of the abuse will just realise that life's too short to deal with this crap, no matter how much they think they love that person. Been there. Done that.

Or they end up dead. Been there. Done that. Oh wait.

Originally Posted by Devo

Or they end up dead. Been there. Done that. Oh wait.

Dead? I must lead a really sheltered existance. I can't say that I realised people were ending up dead as a result of domestic violence... I know some people get pretty badly hurt as a result of it, but that's often when the "wake-up call" hits them, isn't it? Of course, I was speaking primarily of emotional abuse, which is the only kind I have any real experience of.

Originally Posted by Manis Tricuspis

"Hey doctor, we have devised a perfectly functional way of resolving our differences"

"NO THAT'S NOT ALLOWED ONLY RAINBOWS AND HUGGING ARE ALLOWED"

Shut the fuck up.

So you'd stick around with a chick who hit you? You think it's ok for a dude to beat his chick?


Okaaaayyyy...

Originally Posted by eks

So you'd stick around with a chick who hit you? You think it's ok for a dude to beat his chick?


Okaaaayyyy...

Umm, I actually remember a thread where it was explicitly stated that Pang-n-Sass smack each other around every now and then. This is completely normal and if you disagree Pang will be sarcastic at you until you see things their way or get tired of arguing with a brick wall that has been decorated with a beautiful spray paint frescoe of a man pointing defiantly at a jellyfish.

It's not an issue of whether it's "normal", I don't think that's relevant. There is a distinction between "abusive relationship" and "relationship where two consenting adults choose to resolve conflict via physical violence". I just don't really buy into the idea that two capable people should just suppress all their frustrations because "hitting people is wrong". But no, let's just all sit in a circle and talk it out even when the issue is so fundamental as to be beyond compromise.

You shouldn't hit someone who cannot reasonably be expected to mount a capable counterattack. Beyond that, why not? If both parties are in roughly equivalent states of physical fitness, then both of them will be injured to roughly the same degree.

Bonding!

I like how Elmo just dictated how Sass and I have to decorate our kitchen.

Fuck you, Jellyfish. You're not my real father.

Originally Posted by Elmoogle

Umm, I actually remember a thread where it was explicitly stated that Pang-n-Sass smack each other around every now and then. This is completely normal and if you disagree Pang will be sarcastic at you until you see things their way or get tired of arguing with a brick wall that has been decorated with a beautiful spray paint frescoe of a man pointing defiantly at a jellyfish.

To expand further on this, we've never put each other in the hospital or anything. And it's not like we're beating the bloody fuck out of each other.

It really does help, you know. He hits me, I hit him or vice versa. Until we end up laughing at each other or insulting each other in reallu juvenile ways.

"ANDY, YOU HIT LIKE A GIRL."
"DANIELLE, YOU ARE A GIRL."
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!?"
"YEA, THATS RIGHT BITCH."

Laughter ensues. Or possibly violence. Its great for relieving stress.

Originally Posted by Manis Tricuspis

You shouldn't hit someone who cannot reasonably be expected to mount a capable counterattack. Beyond that, why not? If both parties are in roughly equivalent states of physical fitness, then both of them will be injured to roughly the same degree.

From what Sass is describing, you guys have spats, not full-on fist fights. I don't see a big deal in that, I guess. I can also see a common understanding within it, too.

Sometimes you can get your point across without such accessive sarcasm. Ask Sass.

Originally Posted by Devo

What if your situation never changes. What then?

well since we're dragging sass' personal life into this, I assume once she doesn't need her work to pay for college anymore, she's good to go?

Originally Posted by Soluzar

Dead? I must lead a really sheltered existance. I can't say that I realised people were ending up dead as a result of domestic violence... I know some people get pretty badly hurt as a result of it, but that's often when the "wake-up call" hits them, isn't it? Of course, I was speaking primarily of emotional abuse, which is the only kind I have any real experience of.

are you kidding me? domestic violence is pretty much the most dangerous type of situation that the police have to deal with. I assume it's because of the extreme likelyhood that someone's going to end up dead if things aren't dealt with in the best way possible.

Originally Posted by ava lilly

well since we're dragging sass' personal life into this, I assume once she doesn't need her work to pay for college anymore, she's good to go?

There are economic issues within abusive relationships too. My point to Sass was she's so quick to say these women should realize they need to leave, meanwhile she's staying in a abusive work relationship just for economic reasons. She could work somewhere else and leave work just like the woman could supposedly leave.

Originally Posted by eks

Sometimes you can get your point across without such accessive sarcasm.

It seems like everyone should like sarcasm that's easy to access, though.

If I had to like remember a password just to get to my sarcasm, well, I wouldn't like that much at all.

Also, why is Elmoogle even here, I thought he left the internet.

Originally Posted by ava lilly

are you kidding me? domestic violence is pretty much the most dangerous type of situation that the police have to deal with. I assume it's because of the extreme likelyhood that someone's going to end up dead if things aren't dealt with in the best way possible.

Nope, I'm really not kidding. I kinda figured most people got out of an abusive relationship when bones started getting broken, for example. I've no direct experience of physical abuse within a relationship, and the only cases I have second-hand knowledge of haven't escalated to quite that point.