How do you handle your pastlife?

No, no I'm not talking about reincarnation. It's just that some of us must be having rough times in past times, like being bullied, called nerds by the community, or maybe we did some unavoidable mistakes.

Sometimes these memories flooding my brain, make me feel angry to myself. The words "If only..." keep appears in my mind if I remember these experiences. I'm not typical guy who keep remembering the past, so it's easy for me to forgive and forget. But well, it's normal if you experiencing reconaissances thing or two right?

How about you? Are typical person who keeps remembering the past or you could just forget them and walk through the future? And how do you handle when these grudges come into your mind?

I'm holding way too many grudges from my past. I suck at letting things go, but only big things, if it's something totaly insignificant, then I usually don't care at all in the first place. I remember stuff all the time, when I do, I usually just get really quiet, but it's rare that I think about it when I'm around other people.

I forget my past and move on quite literally. I rarely remember what I did l last week or even a few days ago in anything more than the vaguest terms so it's virtually impossibly to get hung up on something that happened. And all the major issues in my past I've made mey peace with and moved on. THoguh there is one guy I'd still like to punch if the opprotunity ever came up from grade school but only because he's not really moved on and matured past what he was then. Maybe that's punishment enough for him without me needing to add anything to it I don't know

There are loads of little things I look back on and think "what the fuck" and other things I look back on and realise that it only made me stronger. I don't tend to hold grudges, but then again no one has done anything that bad to me yet for me to hold a grudge.

I think the only thing I look back on and it still gets to me would be the death of my best friend. Sometimes I think "if only.." but I realise that what happened has happened and when I look back I should focus on the memories instead of letting her death cloud all the good times we had.

Originally Posted by sian

I think the only thing I look back on and it still gets to me would be the death of my best friend. Sometimes I think "if only.." but I realise that what happened has happened and when I look back I should focus on the memories instead of letting her death cloud all the good times we had.

Actually I feel the same with you. Sometimes I remember the memory of my Grandmother who passed out 6 days before my birthday. I love her so much that I always cry if I keep remembering her. You may say I'm weak, but I just couldnt help it.

Sometimes, random memories from my past keep popping into my head in the middle of the day. It happened to me alot during my last semester in college.

I just try to close my eyes and think about something that happened earlier in the day.

I always feel experience would make me stronger but I find it hard to forgive myself for some of the things that I have done and didn't do before. I want to make amends but nothing can erase what happened. Sometimes things are going well but when I remind myself of something that happened then I sometimes I hit a brick wall and I doubt the situation I am in.

I make an intentional and thorough effort to forget anything from my past that I don't need to remember for academic/legal reasons. In my room are two photographs, my parents in Tennesse in the fall, holding each other (before they had me, grew old and got fat) and one of the dog I had from age 10 to 18. No siblings, no boyfriends etc ... I also don't talk about them, and I try not to think about them.

It's just hard to look back at everything you've lost. It's much easier to pretend like your history is just a backstory in the plot, something that mattered but no longer has significance. If I ever get nostalgic, it's for something natural that will never go away but will never be the same again, like rivers and mountains and seasons. Not experiences or people.

In that light, all my grudges died when I lost contact with the perpetrators.

I disconnect myself from it. What's happened is in the past, and no matter how much I bitch about my stupidity it's not going to change anything. However, it's good to be able to look back on it without feeling anything about it; you can make level-headed judgements about people and situations without getting caught up in how much the past sucks.

Originally Posted by eriol

Actually I feel the same with you. Sometimes I remember the memory of my Grandmother who passed out 6 days before my birthday. I love her so much that I always cry if I keep remembering her. You may say I'm weak, but I just couldnt help it.

It's not weak at all, I still cry sometimes it's just a release of emotion. When you care about someone so much, and lose them it can take years for it to be less painful and crying is just apart of the healing process - no matter how long that is.

Trying to forget does nothing. All it does is suppress it long enough to cause problems later on, often in another form. That's all depending upon a past that's bad or filled with negative emotions. I tend to deal my past by writing...A LOT. I have somewhere around 30 notebooks that I've written down stuff just to get it out. It helps quite a bit.

I guess I've been through some rough waters immigrating and all, but that doesn't seem to bother. The things that really bother me about the past are the times in which I did embarassing things, although no one seems to remember them but me. I cringe everytime I remember bad moments.

I generally like myself. Part of who I am is my experience. The tragedies of my life belong in that group. I might not be the person I like by altering those experiences in any way.

Originally Posted by eriol

No, no I'm not talking about reincarnation. It's just that some of us must be having rough times in past times, like being bullied, called nerds by the community, or maybe we did some unavoidable mistakes.

You get over yourself to start with. Everyone goes through shit and what you said there is the most trite of complaints.

to be honest I didn't understand what you point out inyour post. Sorry, english is not my native language, please pardon my numbness.

Well I think I'm satisfied with my past so far.
The thing with me, is that when something I would rather not experience actually happens, I dwell on it from anywhere to a week or a month. This also happens with good things in my life, so it's a double-edged sword. During that period, it's intense and I feel like I will never get over it. One morning, I just do and then move on with my life. Years later, I might randomly think about that unpleasant experience and I can go "meh", because I already suffered through it for the week/month after it happened.
When I look back at my life, I've gotten through most of the things that I thought were really huge deals back then. Now they are all inconsequential.

Quote:

It's just that some of us must be having rough times in past times, like being bullied, called nerds by the community, or maybe we did some unavoidable mistakes.

I used to be like this in the past (being bullied, called nerd) but I've decided to keep this shit in the place where it belongs to: in the past. I used to be extremely shy (anti-social, I'd say)... now I'm not anymore, thank God, and I consider the years I was an idiot as a turned page in my life.

My advice: only remember good things from the past, throw the bad memories away and be happy.

Originally Posted by Safer Serge

My advice: only remember good things from the past, throw the bad memories away and be happy.

If only it were so simple. I don't believe it is ever possible to simply discard the sections of your past that displease you. Instead you repress what has happened, and depending on the degree of seriousness, this could have terrible consequences. I think I would much rather be able to look back on what has happened, what I've done, and accept it. To just know that it's tough shit but I've got to deal with it up front or it will get to me subconciously and most importantly, to learn from it.