The effect of College on Friendships

Originally Posted by dhsu87

just wondering. where do/did you go to college?

i definately feel i've sort of lost contact with a lot of HS friends. the thing is.. i also didn't make too many close college friends. so i feel somewhat isolated in both areas.

I would say I'm in the same boat. In high school I made some very close friends, with whom I'm beginning to lose touch now. In college it can be difficult to make such friendships with sporadic classes of hundreds of (often different) people.

However this is not to say I didn't make close friends with people outside of college. My interests fall outside of the majority of those on my course anyway, so I guess it's to be expected.

wellllll...though I do like the closeness of high school classes, I also like the certain dignified aloofness of college.

for example, I go to rutgers and you need a bus to get anywhere on campus. I meet very interesting people on the bus. In college, I've found people to be quite friendly and open. We just start speaking about the most random things. We act liike friends, and people around us will think we are friends and once I get off the bus, we say good bye and prolly never meet ever again. No emotional connection needed.

In high school, I only talked to my close circle...and everyone was either with us...or they were "them". There were always cliques and set social lines you could not pass.

I don't know...it's just a breath of fresh air.

Originally Posted by sleipner

wellllll...though I do like the closeness of high school classes, I also like the certain dignified aloofness of college.

for example, I go to rutgers and you need a bus to get anywhere on campus. I meet very interesting people on the bus. In college, I've found people to be quite friendly and open. We just start speaking about the most random things. We act liike friends, and people around us will think we are friends and once I get off the bus, we say good bye and prolly never meet ever again. No emotional connection needed.

In high school, I only talked to my close circle...and everyone was either with us...or they were "them". There were always cliques and set social lines you could not pass.

I don't know...it's just a breath of fresh air.

I've always enjoyed that about college as well. The people I've met during different semesters were polite and friendly for the most part, and I found our conversations to be interesting or very helpful. I met people who gave me advice on how to cheat certain elements in our university system (how to get classes earlier and the like).

But high school did have the usual groups of friends, and I remember that people were generally segregated and didn't associate with each other between groups. I also noticed that people I knew in high school who were previously unfriendly seemed to improve dramatically after spending a year at a university.

Ugh. I saw this and had to see what's happening. For some reason, most of my friends going to college are being distant. The girl I was dating "parted" from me so we wouldn't be so attached. Yet, she dates someone else 2-3 days after me to fuck him and keeps saying "She didn't mean to hurt me." I'll miss the girl...but not more than I already am.

It's either the people...or us that distant themselves.

Wow. This thread makes me feel kind of depressed because my girlfriend has left to college and I still have another year of highschool, and Ive been wondering whether we will be able to keep up the relationship. I dont want it to end but Im scared that she will have found other people/not like me as much when I see her again.

Same with me. I only see about 1-5 of them each week. Most of them are either out of the state or way too busy.

I've got to say though that once it happens it doesn't really seem all that bad. College kinda broadens your horizons and makes you realize that there are 6 billion people on the planet who can be your friend if you just take the time. If the friendships were meant to last, they would; otherwise, there is an entire planet of homo sapiens to choose from.

Note: Rutgers starts in two weeks and i can't wait YEAH!!