Sex. Before or after?

Originally Posted by ODOGONK

Because you're the only virgin in the room. Look, just go home before you hurt yourself on something sharp.

OH LOOK AT ME! I'VE HAD SEX, SO THAT AUTOMATICALLY MAKES ME RIGHT! Come back and try and talk to me when you drop the high and mighty attitude. Maybe then, I'll bother with that you have to ramble on about.

Originally Posted by Technophile

Oh, right that. All you did was say "EITHER YOU AGREE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S METHODS OR THEY'RE ALL IDIOTS".

No, I said with considerably more restraint and tact that either you agree that your friends' methods exist or that they were all emotionally manipulated like you kept suggesting. Why do you try to rewrite history when the entire thread is readily available to viewing? We can all read the first page, sir.

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Cause what works for one person, has to work for everyone else! I wouldn't call that "discrediting" so much as making things black or white when there's a good chunk of grey there.

It is so to laugh.

Originally Posted by Technophile

OH LOOK AT ME! I'VE HAD SEX, SO THAT AUTOMATICALLY MAKES ME RIGHT! Come back and try and talk to me when you drop the high and mighty attitude. Maybe then, I'll bother with that you have to ramble on about.

Experience counts for NOTHING when discussing SEX, A-Duh.

Read that sentence and re-think your logic please.

lurker-

When did I deny that their methods don't exist? I just stated my issues with it. Meaning what about them doesn't work for me.

Devo-

No, all penises are not the same. However a different penis is a lot more familiar than a vagina.


Honestly people, do I have to spell out everything here?

You do have to spell everything out when you switch points faster than the Queer Eyes yell "OHH MY GAWD."

Every different boyfriend you're gonna need to learn what tickles his fancy, it's the same with different vags, what's your point exactly? What is this "more familiar"? I'm sure Deni and Shin can give you a crash course on cunt if you really want to travel down this road.

Virgin counts for relationships too. You profess that you've never had sex, never been in a relationship, but you've got the pope's authority on the topic because your friends bragged about doing it. And since your authority contradicts the only second-hand reports you have, what do you base it on? Livejournals?

You've got gumption, I'll give you that.

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When did I deny that their methods don't exist? I just stated my issues with it. Meaning what about them doesn't work for me.

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I guess it's possible for circumstances to unfold that way. [...] do you think that just sex can lead to an actual and decent relationship?

From then on to the point you submit that it's entirely possible that it can happen. No, you did not admit that the entire time, I was there and I was paying attention. Your continual mischaracterization of the conversation proves you weren't, which doesn't offend me any but doesn't do anything positive for your reputation.

Originally Posted by Devo

You do have to spell everything out when you switch points faster than the Queer Eyes yell "OHH MY GAWD."

Oh ok. You guys not interpreting what I have to say correctly, and me having to constantly repeat myself and explain every nit-picky detail, is me switching sides. =/

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Every boyfriend you're gonna need to relearn what tickles his fancy, it's the same with different vags, what's your point exactly? What is this "more familiar"? I'm sure Deni and Shin can give you a crash course on cunt if you really want to travel down this road.

No I'm really not all that curious. My point is, despite all the different things that different men fancy, there's still some basic common denomenator between all male genitalia, that is lost when you compare one with a vag.

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Lurker. Questiong and wondering about something, does not = denying.

Look, I think the real question everyone here has is, where do you get off making value judgements on things you have no practical experience with? You cherrypick and use hella loaded words, for what reason? How do you benefit by looking down on situations that you just invented?

Originally Posted by Technophile

No I really not all that curious. My point is, despite all the different things that different men fancy, there's still some basic common denomenator between all male genitalia, that is lost when you compare one with a vag.

This is where your inexperience truly shows. If I'm a lesbian, just because I have a vag doesn't mean I somehow know or can assume what my girlfriend likes. Common denominator or not they're all built different.

Originally Posted by a lurker

Look, I think the real question everyone here has is, where do you get off making value judgements on things you have no practical experience with? You cherrypick and use hella loaded words, for what reason? How do you benefit by looking down on situations that you just invented?

I'm gonna ignore the "invent" comment.

I'm not really sure what exactly it was that I said that makes it seem like I look down upon people who are more casual when it comes to sex. But I honestly don't. All I've done (or at least attempted to do so) was take their experience, and just apply them to me and my values in a "what if" sort of mentality, and list my issues with them. My issues, when they're applied to me. I really don't think I need to actually have sex in order to do this. I'm very happy for my friends if it's working for them. But just because it does so for them, it doesn't mean that it will for me as well.
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Devo--

No matter how different men are, there is some common denomenator, no matter how small it is. Even if it amounts to shoving a penis in a vag, generally feels good, while attempting to shove one up a man's front hole (pee-hole), for most males, does not.

Originally Posted by Technophile

Devo--

No matter how different men are, there is some common denomenator, no matter how small it is. Even if it amounts to shoving a penis in a vag, generally feels good, while attempting to shove one up a man's front hole (pee-hole), for most males, does not.

What the hell does this have to do with anything? Why would you shove something up your partner's urethra? You want me and others to take your opinion seriously regardless of your lack of experience, then you post something like this.

Originally Posted by Devo

What the hell does this have to do with anything? Why would you shove something up your partner's urethra? You want me and others to take your opinion seriously regardless of your lack of experience, then you post something like this.

You were making it seem like two penises can be just as different as a penis and a vagina. While it's a possible scenario, I don't think it's the usual case. Even if two men have different fetishes, chances are, they're both going to enjoy, say, the sensation of having their dong stroked.

Originally Posted by Technophile

I'm not really sure what exactly it was that I said that makes it seem like I look down upon people who are more casual when it comes to sex.

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But, my issue with the latter order of events is that you're basically applying emotional attachment to what can very easily be just a night of sex for the other person and nothing more.

The first sin: Ignorance.

Originally Posted by Technophile

But I honestly don't.

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There are lots of scenarios where someone would remain in an unfullfilling relationship. Sometimes, people will delude themselves into thinking the other person will change for the better, or love them, or that they'll grow to love them, so they stay. Some people are just afraid of being alone or single, they'll also stay. Others can fall in a sense of complacency and ,like the ones previously stated, will stay despite the unrewarding relationship. So, if by "successful" you merely mean that the relationship is still going regardless of how unrewarding it is, then I guess it is safe to call my few friends with the "sex-first relationship" relationships "successfull".

The second sin: Insincerity.

Originally Posted by Technophile

All I've done (or at least attempted to do so) was take their experience, and just apply them to me and my values in a "what if" sort of mentality, and list my issues with them. My issues, when they're applied to me.

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I just think that it's a risky act. It can have a lot of extra unwated feelings attached to it or leave you wanting something that was never there if the conditions aren't clearly drawn out beforehand.

The third sin: Ego.

Originally Posted by Technophile

I really don't think I need to actually have sex in order to do this.

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Also, if you go this route you never know what the other person's sexual history is and what little, surprise gifts you may end up with.

The fourth sin: Lust.

Originally Posted by Technophile

I'm very happy for my friends if it's working for them.

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Two of my friends in this situation have semi-long term relationships where the other person is in town about 5 months outta the entire year, while my other friend's in a totally differen town with her b/f

The fifth sin: Lack of respect.

Originally Posted by Technophile

But just because it does so for them, it doesn't mean that it will for me as well.

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I already know how my partner's genitalia will work.

The final sin: Lack of forsight.

The extra sin is sodomy, as in what you like (because you hate girls now) and what we like to do to you. Come, now. Become sodomy.

I never compared dicks and vaginas. I merely said each girl has a different vagina and each guy has a different penis, so regardless of common denominators when anyone starts a new relationship, they have new ground to memorize and explore. Is this so hard a concept?

Originally Posted by a lurker

"But, my issue with the latter order of events is that you're basically applying emotional attachment to what can very easily be just a night of sex for the other person and nothing more. "
The first sin: Ignorance.

I was referring here to someone who has sex in hopes of having it start a relationship. Not my friends or people who have casual sex for recreation. For all I know, my friends' and their partners had consesually casual sex at first.

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"There are lots of scenarios where someone would remain in an unfullfilling relationship. Sometimes, people will delude themselves into thinking the other person will change for the better, or love them, or that they'll grow to love them, so they stay. Some people are just afraid of being alone or single, they'll also stay. Others can fall in a sense of complacency and ,like the ones previously stated, will stay despite the unrewarding relationship. So, if by "successful" you merely mean that the relationship is still going regardless of how unrewarding it is, then I guess it is safe to call my few friends with the "sex-first relationship" relationships "successfull". "

The second sin: Insincerity.

Again. Referring to people who have sex because they are anticipating a relationship to follow up. Why do you keep taking everything I say, as if I'm talking about my friends' cases in particular? I broght them up to make a point that I know people who started out their relationship with sex first. That's all. They're not the only defining, living, examples.

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"I just think that it's a risky act. It can have a lot of extra unwated feelings attached to it or leave you wanting something that was never there if the conditions aren't clearly drawn out beforehand. "






The third sin: Ego.

So now I'm egostistical because I think something's risky?

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"Also, if you go this route you never know what the other person's sexual history is and what little, surprise gifts you may end up with. "


The fourth sin: Lust.

Humor me and connect the dots here.

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"Two of my friends in this situation have semi-long term relationships where the other person is in town about 5 months outta the entire year, while my other friend's in a totally differen town with her b/f "

The fifth sin: Lack of respect.

Stating someone's relationship's circumstances is now disrispectful?

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The final sin: Lack of forsight.

Care to elaborate?

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The extra sin is sodomy, as in what you like (because you hate girls now) and what we like to do to you. Come, now. Become sodomy.

Oh the agony.

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regardless of common denominators when anyone starts a new relationship, they have new ground to memorize and explore. Is this so hard a concept?

I never disagreed with this. While what you say is true, there's still a common denominator. Which means a little less figuering out what you need to do, and trial and error.

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This would be more than what a virgin male will know about vag's and how they physically work. Not what that particular woman finds attractive.

How can you make this judgment given you've done neither a male nor female?

Originally Posted by Devo

How can you make this judgment given you've done neither a male nor female?

Look at my edited post above.