Employee INCOMPETENCE

This was inspired by the "Asshole-ish and Stupid customers" thread. I hate rude/incompetent employees as much as I hate rude/stupid customers.

Here are two anecdotes that will hopefully get some stories started.

Walmart:
I bought a new watch. And immediately I asked the clerk to remove a couple links from the band because I knew it'd be too big for me. So she does it. Fine. I take the watch home and a few days later I decide the watch would be more comfortable with one more link taken out. So I go back and ask to have another taken out. It's a different employee. And she stares at me blankly when I make my request, takes my watch, and friggin' picks at the band for five minutes. No, you couldn't have just said you didn't know how to do it, you have to WASTE MY TIME as you fail. I mention there's a certain tool to get the link pins out. No she doesn't listen to me. "I was never taught how to do this." No, nobody else more qualified is here right now. Fine, give me the watch back, I'll come back later.

I don't blame her for not knowing. I blame her fuckin' trainers for not saying, "Now since you work in the jewelry department, occasionally a customer will ask to have his/her watch band resized. HERE'S HOW YOU DO IT."

Best Buy:
This was before I was very familiar with MIDI and digital audio, so I went to Best Buy to see if they had a suitable soundcard that supported SoundFonts. The roaming employee had no clue what the hell I was talking about so he went to go get Mike, the "multimedia and audio expert" on the team who "went to school for audio." So this bastard come swaggering out, and I explained very carefully that I would like to use SoundFonts in place of my onboard MIDI library, so that I can export midi files in an audio format.
His response?
Fucker: "Midi isn't sound, dude."
Me: "Yes, but that's not what I'm asking--"
Fucker: "Midi isn't sound. It is impossible to do that."

I will never purchase anything from that store as a result. Dumb prick.

Anyway, I bet there are better stories. Any particularly memorable ones from anyone?

How ya doing, buddy?

When I was shopping for my first MP3 player, the salesman at FutureShop kept insisting that I get a MiniDisc recorder instead.

Another FutureShop salesman, when I was asking about MP3 players and ended up not buying anything at the moment, said "Damnit, I could have made $500 in the time I was serving you" (they used to get commission).

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Not to rain on your parade, but why can't you take the link out yourself? It's not hard.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

We're trying desperately to consolidate all of our bills from Cingular into one national plan. Our contact with cingular tells us that before a few accounts can be moved to the plan, we need to take care of their outstanding balances.

So I ask which accounts, and could I please have the corresponding bills. She replies that no, I can't because I'm not authorized to discuss the plan, despite the fact I'm cc'd on every email regarding this procedure. Oh but my boss is. Oh but he no longer works here. Ok, so I'll have to ask the IT guy in our Pittsburgh office to ask this contact which accounts and copies of bills please.

Except he's on the same email conference. He tells her to please remove my boss and authorize me instead. She says no because she's already put through two such requests this month, (our CIO was one of them). I was dumbfounded. (edit: I should point out that I'm the only guy that pays our phone bills) Never seen such obstructionism.

Again with cingular, we typoed a p.o. box and a check got sent to the wrong cingular location. That place couldn't actually find the accounts we had listed to be paid for that check, so they applied it to the current balance on a few of our other accounts. We didn't find out about this until cingular sent us disconnection notices for those accounts we thought we paid. After tracking the check down, I ask the guy to please refund us the money because we'd doube-paid those accounts. He said no because it would pay for our next months bills. Nevermind the accounting problems it causes us because we've got two checks now on our books that went somewhere completely differently. Unimaginative cash apps people are frustrating too.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by galen

Not to rain on your parade, but why can't you take the link out yourself? It's not hard.

I definitely tried, and it is difficult.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I was on vacation, staying at a Best Western (a fairly decent one, actually), and I needed to use one of their wireless cards for my laptop. $50 deposit? No problem, just put it on my credit card. "Oh, we can't do that," the desk clerk tells me, and says they only take cash because their system doesn't allow them to charge the card. I'm paying my hotel bill with a credit card, what's the difference? Being a person of the 21st century, I don't carry that much cash, but I managed to scrounge up $50.

Fast forward to checkout. I get the bill, with the $50 credit on it, and he asks if I want the cash back, or have the $50 credited to my credit card. WTF? You told me you couldn't charge my card! "We can't put the charge on your card, but we can take it off." Stupid idiot.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'm not sure if this counts, but here goes:
My dad and siblings are currently attempting to switch cell phone plans from Alltel to Verizon. After the phones are bought and the numbers ported, the salesman kindly tells us we need to settle our account with Alltel before the numbers will be fully ported. My dad and brother are one plan. My sister is on her own. She only owed $.46 and paid them a few weeks ago. Her contract is also up. However, possibly because Verizon needs to re-port the number, her phone still doesn't operate like the normal phone (only being able to make outgoing calls and only being to receive text messages from those with Verizon's network).

Oddly enough, Alltel claims that my brother's contract is up in two months and that my dad's is up in three. Obviously, this makes no sense, given that the two are on the same contract. They still need to pay off Alltel, mainly because one payment was lost while in Alltel's care. About two months after they signed up with Verizon, we're still trying to resolve the situation.

FELIPE NO

I had my share of incompetent employees back when I was working for a call center company serving Sprint. Although most of them have fairly easy problems like switching phones to changing numbers, and some ranging to messing up the activation of phones that after a few months the customer calls and complains why they have services they didn't sign up for, resulting to big bills. I guess one reason this happens is they employ people who have low or no educational attainment.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by vemp

Although most of them have fairly easy problems like switching phones to changing numbers, and some ranging to messing up the activation of phones that after a few months the customer calls and complains why they have services they didn't sign up for, resulting to big bills.

Hey! That happened to me and a friend of mine with Alltel.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I remember having some really stupid ass coworkers at The UPS Store/Mailboxes Etc.. I had three coworkers that were just straight dumbasses. They thought that after they did something, they got to play videogames online. "I just packed and shipped something! Why can't I play some [Yahoo games]?!" If the store is slow, then take some time to do housekeeping, resupply the store, or catch up on paperwork. It isn't like they aren't trained to do anything, but there was never a manager to watch over them. I would get in their faces, but I had no authority to take disciplinary action. I just finally gave up and left the store. The business still runs, but without an authority figure, it just runs at a very minimalistic profit rate.

I don't mean to be the office jerk, and I was all for poker games when the store was really slow, but when their is work to be done, how about doing it?

I also had the same problem with a small Office Max. I remember being the only customer in the store, and all five employees (like I said, small) were hanging out in the customer service area (how ironic). I wanted some help finding an lx-1200 printer ribbon for my Epson LQ 1080, so I politely waited for someone to help me at the front of the customer service counter. They saw me, so I didn't want to interrupt their conversation. About five minutes later, one of the employees, not even coming up to me, said "What da ya want?"
"A printer ribbon for my Epson LQ 1080"
"We don't carry those. You should go somewhere else."
He went back in to the conversation, and I went to the printer ribbons. Looking them over, I saw what I was looking for, stuck five in my jacket (I looked like I had a brick wall under my jacket), and held one in my hand. I walked right out of the exit with the alarms blaring. They all got in to a panic, but didn't stop me. I just put the cartridge that was in my hand next to the door, and walked over to my job that was located just two storefronts down. I thought I would never have to go back there again, but I ended up making another trip. A dude who claimed he was banned from the store for losing his temper came to my job and politely asked if I could go over and buy a ream of paper for him (some really specific stock that only they carried). He gave me $20 for the paper, so I decided what the hell. I went over there, same scenario before (somehow they didn't recognize me), but instead of trying to get help, I walked straight for the paper, tore the security tag off, and walked right out with it without hiding it. I really think stealing is wrong, but from this place, they deserved it. About a year after opening, it closed down.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

O man. I could write fucking essays on this shit.

First, let's discuss UNIVERSITY DEPARTMENTS. Sometimes, I've got to call people who buy our shit and get some data from them or some shit.

I call the number listed for "General Purchasing" which is listed on the issued purchase order. Upon dialing this number, I discover that it's some OTHER department. ALRIGHT. No option to dial OUT of the message, dial 0 then! Get the switchboard. The operator at the switch board answers "HELLO" instead of "university of ____, whatever blah blah"

I am all "purchasing, please?" and I go through maybe 3 department people to finally REACH who I CALLED for.

Of course, by the time I get through with the purchasing agent, I ask for their DIRECT line. They give me the same number I had. CRY. I'll take your email, then.

As far as hotel's are concerned, I have a lot of experience there - ha ha ha. Recently, I was informed that I could only have a certain rate on a room I wanted "if I didn't sleep in the second bed." Like the rate has to do with what bed I sleep in. Fuck her, man.

I fucked up the second bed just to make a point.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

We recently went to an Outback Steakhouse about a two-hour drive from my house. Outback used to have this delicious margarita on their menu called the "Ayers Rita," but it was a test item and they took it off about a year ago.

Now, I was the head trainer at the Outback Steakhouse near my house for three+ years, so I know how shit is supposed to be. And how it's supposed to be is this: NO RULES. That's their slogan and they do not play around. If an Outback store has the ingredients in their kitchen to make something and someone asks for it - whether it's on the menu or not - their asses are supposed to make it. I've seen our cooks make chicken and rice, salisbury steak, and all kinds of other stuff that isn't on the menu, because NO RULES. We used to send our bus-boys out for Dr. Pepper, etc. because a customer would order it and it wasn't a soft drink we served. But I digress.

So I order this margarita and the girl is new (obviously, since she's not wearing any pins and she's moving around like pond-water), and she tells me that item isn't on the menu and the bartender can't make it for me. I go, "Will you ask, please?" and she says (while rolling her eyes at me), "Sure." Of course she comes back with the damn margarita, and I'd bet money that she got an ass-chewing from the bartender as an added bonus.

Things like this have happened to me at other Outbacks, too, and I get so pissed off.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I'm glad you guys mentioned Alltel.

About a year ago, I got a call from a collection agency stating that Alltel (who, at the time, I had never heard of as they didn't operate in my state) was missing payments from me. Apparently there's someone else with my name living somewhere in Georgia who hasn't paid up. As a result I will never, ever patronize Alltel's service as I can't trust them to keep their records straight.

Cocksuckers.

I was speaking idiomatically.

At my job we have to allocate computer repair contactors to go out to the customer's house and complete any repairs necessary. Been the 1st point of contact for customers I determine what parts I need to send out to the contractor to repair the PC.

I'm completely baffled at the numerous times these contractors call me back after a job asking me how they should repair the PC. Mind you these guys that are supposedly QUALIFIED MCSA, MCSE, A+, NET, ABC, 123, OMGWTF technicians. They ask me some of the most ridiculously simple things any decent technician should be able to figure out.

It just annoys the shit out of me that some of these guys get double my pay yet can't repair a PC even if their life was dependent on it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I don't mind an incompetent employee - everyone can't know everything. What really ticks me off, though, is when an employee tries to answer my question even though they haven't a clue what's going on. In this kind of a situation, honesty goes a very long way. A simple "I really don't know; let me go find someone who might." would save us both so much trouble.

I believe the problems stems from improper management and training practices. Employees are probably told "You're on the floor alone, deal with everything" and that mentality ultimately hurts the customers and the store's profit margin. Especially new employees - they ought to be told straight up: "If you're asked about something you don't know, this is the person you ought to talk to or refer the customer to."

The worst is that attitude they give you when you cut to the chase and ask for someone more experienced. Ugh, nothing personal dude, you just don't know what I'm talking about.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by neus

I believe the problems stems from improper management and training practices. Employees are probably told "You're on the floor alone, deal with everything" and that mentality ultimately hurts the customers and the store's profit margin. Especially new employees - they ought to be told straight up: "If you're asked about something you don't know, this is the person you ought to talk to or refer the customer to."

I definetly agree. This would probably one of the main factors for this issue.
I tend to see this practice happen more often unfortunately.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Cellius

Fucker: "Midi isn't sound, dude."
Me: "Yes, but that's not what I'm asking--"
Fucker: "Midi isn't sound. It is impossible to do that."

...

0_o

...

That's great! I love it! I really wish I could hear somebody say this, JUST so I could sit there and stare at them blankly until they began feeling uncomfortable and left me. I do that sometimes. ^__^

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by neus

I believe the problems stems from improper management and training practices. Employees are probably told "You're on the floor alone, deal with everything" and that mentality ultimately hurts the customers and the store's profit margin. Especially new employees - they ought to be told straight up: "If you're asked about something you don't know, this is the person you ought to talk to or refer the customer to."

The worst is that attitude they give you when you cut to the chase and ask for someone more experienced. Ugh, nothing personal dude, you just don't know what I'm talking about.

I can personally account for this. Having worked in retail at Staples where my computer know-how was used constantly and on the fly. I was pretty much thrown to the wolves on the second day. I had no knowledge of consumer printers and phones, so I was constantly looking for anyone who knew about them. I hated every minute of that stuff. They just expect you to read off the tiny spec sheet and pretend you know what you're talking about. I'm pretty sure I was bullshitting quite a few unlucky saps in my first weeks at the job.

Most amazing jew boots

Lord, I've had my fair share of encounters with incompetant employees.

• Sprint: After my husband and I moved to our current apartment (and before we finally switched to Verizon), we told Sprint (and even wrote) our new address. 6 months of late bills because they couldn't mail it to the right address.
  
  
• Attemot to purchase a DVD lens cleaner: Rather than drive around, I call Office Max, CompUSA and Office Depot to see if they have a DVD lens cleaner (as my DVD rom isnt working, but that's another story). Office Max informs me that the only store that has what I want is in Tukwila or somewhere out of my way. Office Depot assures me they have what I want. Lies; all they have is a CD lens cleaner. CompUSA says "We have a cloth and some spray." (Moron, I said "lens" not "disc"). On a hunch, I went to Best Buy and found what I needed.

And in defense of new employees, I can vouch that most managers and employeers like to give you a quick run through of responsibilities and then abandon you to figure it out yourself.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.