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Would it be reasonable to ask my future roommate this?
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Chocobo


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Old Jun 2, 2010, 07:32 PM Local time: Jun 2, 2010, 05:32 PM #1 of 12
Would it be reasonable to ask my future roommate this?

I am moving to an apartment in another state on June 19th and I will have a roommate (more like a housemate; we will have our own rooms). He lives there currently (he is the only one living there). Before I move, I will ship out some of my belongings in boxes through UPS, and I will take some of my belongings on the plane with me when I fly down there. The boxes will contain things like clothes, and I also want to ship out my computer and computer monitor. I want to ship out some boxes now so that when I get there, I will already have the things that I need. I also want to order some things online, such as bedsheets and maybe a george foreman grill, and have them shipped to the apartment. So I basically want to have a bunch of things shipped in boxes before I arrive and have him just put them in my room. There may be as much as 10 separate packages, but not all delivered at the same time most likely.

Would it be okay to ask my roommate if he would be okay if I did this? Does it sound like a reasonable thing to do? If he isn’t there to receive the packages, he can put a note on the door telling the UPS delivery people to leave it at the apartment office and he can pick it up from the office later.

Thanks.

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Old Jun 2, 2010, 08:03 PM #2 of 12
Unless hes a complete jerk, thats perfectly fucking reasonable.

However, to reroute a UPS package - that requires them to leave one of the "I was here where were you, asshole" doorhandle tags. Those usually allow you to reroute boxes. Otherwise, he can just leave a note saying "Leave all deliveries by garage" or "Leave all deliveries by back door" (ahem).

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Radez
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Old Jun 2, 2010, 08:13 PM #3 of 12
I don't know. How well do you know this guy? If I had just some guy moving into my place and they were all "hey btw I'm shipping 10 packages to your place can you make sure they get to my room?" I'd be annoyed. As in, who the fuck do they think I am, their porter?

If it were one or two things, no big deal, but if you're talking multiple deliveries over an extended period of time, that's a pain in the balls and to me it speaks to the type of relationship I'd have with this new room mate going forward. As in, what else am I going to be asked to do because it's more convenient for this other dude than for him to be arsed to do it himself.

I notice you don't mention a car anywhere? Or a bed. If you need bedsheets for a bed that's already provided, why not buy them once you get there? They're sold by just about every department store. I'd suggest shipping your stuff via ground and then flying out so that you're there to pick them up. I don't see any reason why you would need to ship online purchases to your new place before you've arrived.

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Sarag
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Old Jun 2, 2010, 08:31 PM #4 of 12
If you ask him, inform him how many packages he can expect. Depending on the housing situation, you might feel more comfortable having somebody home to accept the package - which makes a huge investment on this guy's time. On the other hand, nobody is saying you should send packages that you won't be confident in receiving.

One thing you could do, if you have a ton of stuff, is rent a pod and have them ship your stuff to you when you're at your new place. It doesn't sound like you have that much, though.

Can you have somebody in your current town, perhaps family, send your stuff to you after you've moved in? That could be another option.

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RacinReaver
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Old Jun 3, 2010, 10:49 AM Local time: Jun 3, 2010, 08:49 AM #5 of 12
Why not try to set up your ordering of things online such that they arrive a day or two after you arrive? You can bring two changes of clothes with you on the airplane, put some toiletries in your checked luggage, and pretty much treat your first few days there as a vacation.

I mean, is it really vital you have a George Foreman your first night? If you happen to go out and buy some food, what's to stop you from dropping by a Rite-Aid and buying one for $20? Does the guy mind if you borrow his pots & pans and/or microwave until you've been there for a little while?

I was speaking idiomatically.
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Old Jun 9, 2010, 04:26 AM Local time: Jun 9, 2010, 01:26 AM #6 of 12
I agree with Radez dude. 10 separate packages is asking quite a bit from a stranger.

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Old Jul 24, 2010, 12:53 PM Local time: Jul 25, 2010, 01:53 AM #7 of 12
It's a risk entrusting all your things to a stranger. Plus, it doesn't make for a good impression to lay that burden on him on the get go.

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Old Jul 25, 2010, 09:27 PM Local time: Jul 25, 2010, 07:27 PM #8 of 12
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If it were one or two packages, I wouldn't be bothered, but if someone I didn't know wanted me to oversee the arrival of ten important packages before they even got there I'd be a bit ticked off.

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Old Jul 30, 2010, 04:50 AM Local time: Jul 30, 2010, 10:50 AM #9 of 12
I think its pretty resonable, especially if you ask him well before to intend to ship any boxes out there, just explain that its making your move a little easier as there will be your essential items there upon you arrival. Theres no harm in asking, the worst thing he can do is say no and its not costing you to ask. If he's willing to do it perfect, if not try doing as the others have said and having the items arrive one or two days after you.

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Radez
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Old Aug 4, 2010, 10:33 PM 6 #10 of 12
Not that it matters two months after he created the thread, but I want to address this idea about there being no harm in asking. When you ask someone to do something, it's not harmless. You're taking advantage of a socially conditioned individual to acquiesce to requests out of a desire to be pleasant. If they turn you down, then you've put them in a situation where they need to justify their refusal. And you will also be reacting to that refusal. For two people about to be room mates that's not a good way to foster community feelings.

As much as we might like to tell ourselves that we can just ask for stuff and have it be like we never asked at all if we get turned down, it doesn't work like that. That's why you don't ask for obnoxious things. It's obnoxious even if the person you're asking is able to say no.

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slessman
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Old Aug 11, 2010, 10:52 PM #11 of 12
Well, I am sure the topic has been resolved by now but I wanted to throw in my opinion. I think that it is a lot to expect and it is kind of unfair to have to do a bunch of heavy and not-so-heavy lifting for someone who isn't even there yet. Ask first and see if he is okay with it. If not, then can't your parents or friends just overnight that stuff to you? And is the stuff you're ordering online all that urgent?

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hamblettamaud
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Old Aug 6, 2011, 06:30 PM #12 of 12
Can't you post all your packages just before you get on the plane so that you arrive at the new address before your packages do? Then you can do all that stuff yourself.

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