Casual dating

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I recently emerged from a very serious 7-year relationship and am just now climbing onto the dating scene. I've met some really wonderful people, including a girl that I've been seeing for the last few months. Lately she has suddenly disappeared without a word of explanation or warning, and I'm totally baffled and frankly heartbroken. Last I talked to her she cited traumatic family trouble taking over her life. Still, after months of dependable daily communication, complete radio silence for the last two weeks is unusual yeah?

So to get my mind off it I'm still meeting other people. Since I'm royally inexperienced when it comes dating, I'm wondering about the wisdom of this. Is it fair to continue meeting women when I'm still honestly crazy about another girl? In Los Angeles it's difficult to find peers who don't look at you as a potential benefit to their career, so I'm really hoping to find friends too before considering another serious relationship.

The dates are fun; I'm a charming and funny dude, don't need any advice on dating etiquette itself, I'm just wondering if anyone here has a perspective either way on whether I'm leading these other ladies on? Whether I should tell them flat out where my head's at? The truth is if this other girl comes around again I'm going to go with her, no question; I just am not willing to wait around forever wondering if that's ever going to happen. Should I just enjoy the ride and let things unfold?

Anyone have a similar experience??

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Thanks dudes, this is the kind of shit that's good to hear from objective people. My head's been spinning lately wondering why the hell this sweetheart can't fire off a simple "I need a few weeks for my family, gimme some time" message instead of leaving me hanging in the dark, but I'm guessing it's a mental thing. My head rang some small warning bells, but my heart is still in for her, and who knows what the actual deal is. Meantime, getting out and spending time with others really is a good antidote.

I guess how much I let them know about this depends on how far those dates go, yeah?

And yeah, 7 years. I feel like I came out of a time machine... that went at the speed of real time.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Hydra

If you don't mind me asking, is this "Not signed in to IM and not replying to emails." silence or "Not answering the phone." silence?

Yeah it's not-answering-the-phone silence.
Family is local so she's always in the area.

...Shit.

Edit:
Still though, the last we talked it was something to the effect of "yes let's definitely get together soon, just a lot going on right now, have to tend to family, sorry." Seriously I wonder what the deal is with this.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Shorty

What conditions define "casual dating?"
...
I feel like once a girl defaults on their position with a guy to b), they stop calling. But again, it's my opinion and I don't have much experience being single, so it's hard to judge.

Yeah same here. I'm kind of just jumping in, one date at a time and seeing how it goes. All pretty casual. I haven't been doing it very long so the prospect of cultivating a friendship between meetings is still not there yet. My feeling on this is that at some point a heart's going to get broken.

Originally Posted by Shilee

At the very least I would try an impromptu visit to her house with flowers or something.

This probably is not a good idea. I'm confused and saddened by her sudden disappearance, but not desperate. The ball is already in her court; I think forcing her hand would ruin everything. We had both determined early on that if we started seeing each other, it was going to be exclusive. We weren't really dating so much as getting to know each other really well and with increasing romantic interest. It's her vanishing act that prompted me to meet other women, albeit not with near as much interest I had (and still have) in her. I'm really starting to think she's gone for good, in which case at least I have a little bit of closure - however contrived for my own peace of mind.

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