Round 3: Winners.... Wait What?

Well guys, it seems like everyone advances by Default! This is a shame. Which is also why I'm posting this Poll as well. In lieu of what has been going on recently. I have thought that a 4 way Face off might be a good idea. And using chocoDecide, I can ask one of the losers to submit a theme for the FInals!!! So First off, The poll at the top is to decide if we have a 4 way face off. ALso the prompst and the winners are below with according stories.

Originally Posted by Dekoa

Yes this time it's all out. Let's get started shall we?

Ok it's time to make a story around this. One more restrictment though, You must make it a COMEDY!

Winner = Orion_mk3 -> Round Robin

Originally Posted by Dekoa

Yes this time it's all out. Let's get started shall we?

Ok it's time to make a story around this. One more restrictment though, You must make it a DRAMA! However, DRAMA is such a broad category, so you can make it a Romance, an Action, generally anything but the focus here is a STORY.

Winner= SOLDIER -> The Dream Beyond the Clouds

Originally Posted by Dekoa

Yes this time it's all out. Let's get started shall we?

Ok it's time to make a story around this. One more restrictment though, You must make it an ACTION SCENE! However any good story also calls for a little bit of actual story so don't be afraid to skimp a little on the action.

Winner= Acro-nym -> A Legend of the Red Warrior

Hmmmm.... I guess I should also Say where I got these Ideas huh?

First Prompt= TV- Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law
Second Prompt= Book- Fantasy Stories
Third Prompt= Video Games- Guilty Gear Franchise

Oh and also Next prompt comes soon.

Is this vote just for the remaining contestants? Or can the general populous vote as well.

gen pop Helloween. ANyone can vote to read and decide between 4 stories or not.

I'm fine with just a three-way final. Why do we need a fourth person?

Oh wait, Moth pulled out didn't he?

It'd be a three-way, but that seems like the only route available in finishing the contest with a modicum of dignity--I'm all for it.

I'll paste in some comments about the stories in a bit.

Story comment time!

Round Robin First of all, a few words about my own tale. It's a combination and exaggeration of a few of the most obnoxious and bizarre things I saw as both a writing student and a writing treacher. It's not intended to be anything other than a humorous satire of the writing workshop as a whole, and the authors portrayed therein bear no resemblence to any WoTW participants, living or dead. It was a blast to write, and I hope it was a blast to read.

The Dream Beyond the Clouds I see you went with a fantasy approach; as I said earlier in the contest, that's a tall order, but I feel that the tale was successful within its limited space. The ending, while open, is better than the guillotine-like cuts many stories in the contest suffered from.

I feel that the real strength of the piece is in the descriptions, which are imaginative and evocative. From the title to the descriptions of characters, they strike a nice balance, never going overboard but remaining potent. It can be tough to do this, and the results are commendable.

The dialogue could use some polishing; it's not bad by any means and works well enough in context, but many of the lines (especially at the beginning) echo some in pop culture to a slightly distracting extent (I was reminded of Star Wars in particular).

Overall, I'd peg this as a strong entry and encourage further revision. Keep up the good descriptions, work on the rough spots in the dialogue, and consider expanding the story to let it breathe a bit.

A Legend of Red Warrior Interestingly, you've also gone with a fantasy-style story, though one rooted in a more explicitly Eastern mythology. It's not a setting I've ever been particularly interested in, but to its credit the story doesn't seem to demand any specialist knowledge that a non-Nipponophile may lack.

More than anything else, this feels like a fragment or summary of a larger and more expansive tale. While it moves through several encounters and settings, they each whip by at lightning speed, allowing little time for development and description.

The most obvious aspect of this is the samurai himself. As a protagonist, he's essentially a cipher--readers learn little of him. I think that this was an attempt to give the story the flavor of an old legend--which is rife with such--but at the same time it establishes a distance between the reader and character that's not easily bridged.

I would say, in sum, that the story's reach exceeds its grasp. It's a good foundation, with some interesting stabs at (I think) an old-fashioned "legendary" writing style, but the events move so fast that it's hard to sympathize with the protagonist or become involved in his quest. I'd suggest revision--expand the story, develop the episodes, and either push the writing style more toward the clearly legendary or realism.

Originally Posted by orion_mk3

Story comment time!

The Dream Beyond the Clouds I see you went with a fantasy approach; as I said earlier in the contest, that's a tall order, but I feel that the tale was successful within its limited space.

Well, I didn't really have much choice. Not that I'm complaining, though. Despite being a big fan of the genre, this is the first story I've ever written in a fantasy setting. As a result, I wanted to give it some of my best care.

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The ending, while open, is better than the guillotine-like cuts many stories in the contest suffered from.

Confession time: The ending is actually half of the original story I had in mind. I only started on this story two days before the deadline, due to several real world issues (along with some online ones, namely the state of this contest and the withdrawl of Alice), and while I had the beginning and ending worked out, I was still iffy about the middle. So rather than wreck my brain over it and condense the story to the 2600 word limit, I made a wise choice of cutting my original idea in half, so that I can take the time and complete the second half on my own pace.

So even though I wasn't happy about winning by default again, I went ahead and took advantage of it. I have no regrets either, because I fell in love with the setting and characters that I created, so I want to write the complete tale on my own leisure.

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I feel that the real strength of the piece is in the descriptions, which are imaginative and evocative. From the title to the descriptions of characters, they strike a nice balance, never going overboard but remaining potent. It can be tough to do this, and the results are commendable.

Funny enough, the descriptions are one area that I want to go back and work on. My biggest weakness with regards to writing is how to describe locations and people. On books like Ice and Fire, there are detailed and properly-worded descriptions for castles, trees, buildings and so on, but in my case I can't think of the best way to word things other than "a big castle, some stairs inside" or "a cool futuristic spaceship that's uh...futuristic." The same applies to character descriptions; I can name faces and hairstyles well enough, but if I have a detailed look for someone's outfit, I wouldn't know the best way to describe it other than "some fluffy robes" or whatnot.

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The dialogue could use some polishing; it's not bad by any means and works well enough in context, but many of the lines (especially at the beginning) echo some in pop culture to a slightly distracting extent (I was reminded of Star Wars in particular).

Ouch. I never once considered that I was echoing the dialog of Star Wars; I spent more time making sure my story wasn't sounding like a generic RPG (I toiled over the "first level destructive spells" comment, wondering if it was too RPGish or not). I just wanted to present the sky-folk as very enlightened, in tune with nature, much like elves.

Frankly I was very proud of the dialog when I went back and read it. Especially the line about "royal sanguinity"; I was grinning ear-to-ear for two days straight over that lovely combination of words, constantly wondering "damn, I came up with that? Awesome.".

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Overall, I'd peg this as a strong entry and encourage further revision. Keep up the good descriptions, work on the rough spots in the dialogue, and consider expanding the story to let it breathe a bit.

Thanks for the warm reception. Although once again, I really wish more forum members would read and comment on my story. I'm committed to winning this little contest, but it's the comments and critiques I receive for my works that are the greatest rewards.

I'm not big about the idea of a 4-way final, as very few people are even reading two stories at a time, but I'm keeping silent on the decision; just please reach a decision soon, so we can end this thing once and for all.

OK then. I guess I'll ask for a Final Theme from a previous Loser. It will be entirely Random and it will be someone who didn't pull out.

Originally Posted by orion_mk3

A Legend of Red Warrior Interestingly, you've also gone with a fantasy-style story, though one rooted in a more explicitly Eastern mythology. It's not a setting I've ever been particularly interested in, but to its credit the story doesn't seem to demand any specialist knowledge that a non-Nipponophile may lack.

The reason I don't provide any specialist knowledge is that I don't have any more than you do.

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More than anything else, this feels like a fragment or summary of a larger and more expansive tale. While it moves through several encounters and settings, they each whip by at lightning speed, allowing little time for development and description.

Well, it's supposed to feel like a tale that's part of a collection of tales, like when someone tells one part of Heracles's labors. As should be obvious by now, I don't like to include a lot of description in my stories, for my own reasons. In regards to development, perhaps there could be more, especially around the Red Warrior.

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The most obvious aspect of this is the samurai himself. As a protagonist, he's essentially a cipher--readers learn little of him. I think that this was an attempt to give the story the flavor of an old legend--which is rife with such--but at the same time it establishes a distance between the reader and character that's not easily bridged.

I'm going to agree that there needs to be some expansion to the protagonist. However, there can't be too much, as I want it to sound more like a legend and less like a short story.

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I would say, in sum, that the story's reach exceeds its grasp. It's a good foundation, with some interesting stabs at (I think) an old-fashioned "legendary" writing style, but the events move so fast that it's hard to sympathize with the protagonist or become involved in his quest. I'd suggest revision--expand the story, develop the episodes, and either push the writing style more toward the clearly legendary or realism.

I do think that, as time became my enemy, I started writing less like it was a legend and more like it was anything else I write. So, I'll agree that I need to revise it and push it more toward that legendary writing style. Perhaps the story does need a little expanding, but too much expansion would probably hinder what could be done with other tales.

Whatever. Three-, four-, or gazillion-way finale. Just hurry up and win, orion_mk3, so I can say I lost to the eventual winner!

I'm workin' on it.

But it'll be hard for anyone to win if all that happens is each of us votes for ourself

So, um, I see that the deadline's come and gone.

Any word on getting the very last voting up? C'mon, we can do this.

I'll get the last voting up this evening. Thigns have been going on lately so I've been trying to deal with them.