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Oct 1, 2006 - 11:40 PM |
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Argh... I'm a pirate. |
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Well, that was random... I really think I should be using this more. I feel I could get alot more out with all my friend bitching at me on my xanga.
Anyway, nothing exciting. Still have a project for school to work on, college applications to fill out... Other unexciting crap that really doesn't satisfy me. Life has been a real drag lately.
I guess I should rant about something... Um... MapleStory?
Yeah, I play that craptastic game that people hate. Either way, with friends, it makes the experience of playing it more fun. I don't really like that feeling of alone and just hitting things. It gets boring.
At the moment I have a level 33 sin, a level 22 warrior, and a level 16 archer I now use as my pack mule.
My sin is my strongest character, but there's just so many problems i'm facing in the game, it's just really hard to get anywhere in it. Money is always a huge issue. I'm thinking about just hitting up an area with alot respawn so I could just raid huge amounts of money from that. Even if I don't get alot of experience or mesos from it. All of it counts. I hate being the poor one out of all my friends. 80k isn't gonna get me anywhere.
On top of having no money in the game, my best character is one of the hardest classes to maintain in the game. Along with buying armor and weapons, I have to splurge on stars also, which cost a pretty penny. An EXTREMELY pretty penny. How does 9 mil sound for one of the best stars in game?
I always try to make myself believe I could use my sin to get out of this situation, but in reality, it's gonna suck. I don't really have alot to go off on with this. No money for potions... Potions are expensive... My class doesn't have alot of HP and MP to begin with... Rather, we're not on either sides of the HP/MP extremes.
Life's a bitch... Then you play a game that makes you one.
I REALLY have alot to rant about... Moving on to school...
It's just a drag right now to go through it. My senior year and there's so much stuff I have to worry about. Grades, applications, SAT scores (for the last fucking time), marching band, concert choir, show choir... There's just alot to worry about. And what worries me even more is that I have all my hard classes in the spring... Which personally isn't a good thing for me at all. Senioritis is gonna kick in liek whut, and i'm gonna suffer.
Then comes that worry about life after high school, where you're not going to have your friends from high school to lean on. Basically, it's just the next stage in your life where you have to start dealing with the real world. I don't want to experience it yet, but hell, life sucks and i'm gonna have to learn to deal with it.
I guess i'm just scared about it.. Just the thought that I'm gonna have to stop relying on other people and learn to rely on myself to survive. I fear at looking forward in life... Where I have no one to lean on. Where i'm alone in the world. Where no one cares about me in return. Where I have to live in fear. It's just hard for me to imagine any of this.
But maybe i'm just over-exaggerating the point. Perhaps it's not going to be as bad as I think it's going to be. But with the path i'm going right now... Is it the right one? Will I struggle in the process? Will I end up contradicting my own beliefs and end up like my friends who would rather be miserable in their carreer just to earn money?
No... I don't want to believe that. I always thought that money makes the world turn, but it will also be the end of us. I always believed that you didn't have to have craploads of money just to be happy. Because what happens when all that money burns and you have nothing left? So much for your fake happiness. Now you're just as miserable as the next person who wanted the money you have. Plus, i'd like to enjoy my job and earn a living for what I like to do. Not just be another money slave to the system.
I guess this rant is about how angry I am at my friends... I always thought that belief of being miserable to make money was always a bad outlook on life. You're just looking towards a material future, but what happens when all of that is gone? You're just walking towards a path of self-destruction.
But maybe they're right? What happens if you are happy, and you don't make alot of money. Is that really true happiness? Or are you just going to be living in the anger and envy of your friends who said that they would be miserable to make money?
Life runs in different directions. I might be right. I might be wrong. But I guess that's just the way the system works.
| Currently Playing: Everett Bradley - Rhythm and Balance...White Jungle |
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