|
Nov 19, 2007 - 06:32 PM |
|
|
Radio Advertising Voice: "Has This Ever Happened to YOU?" |
|
|
Phone conversation:
"Hello?"
"Good evening, Mr. Johnson. I have your internets."
"Wh-which ones?"
"All of them."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" (possible sub: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.") (Longer is more anguished.)
Announcer: Following this, did you go on a killing rampage, slaying your:
Wife (picture), Newborn Baby Girl (picture), Puppy (picture), Next-door Neighbor Fred (picture), Guy You Experimented Once Back In College (picture) When You Were Both "Drunk" (picture), Underage Baby-Sitter/Lover (picture), Ron Jeremy (picture), Rabid Kangaroo (picture), Jesus Jones (picture).
If so, then you need Higgenworth's INTARNETS PROTECT (TM). With this, you can protect all your internets from the Internet Hate Machine that wants to steal it. Using it is simple:
1) Plug Higgenworth's INTARNETS PROTECT into your internets!
2) When you suspect Internets thievery, simply press the red button.
Sun Goes Down.
Time's Up!
Let's Try Again!
Here is a representation of what happens when you press the button:
*boop* A signal is sent out from your internets! When the signal reaches an agent of the Internet Hate Machine, the following Message is broadcasted:
"SWIPER NO SWIPING! SWIPER NO SWIPING! SWIPER NOOOOOO SWIPING!" Which causes the Internet Hate Machine to say "OH MAAAAAAN! *snap*" leaving your internets protected!
So buy Higgenworth's INTARNETS PROTECT for your internets TODAY!
Higgenworth's INTARNETS PROTECT. Isn't Ron Jeremy worth it?
|
|
|
|
|