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Oct 22, 2006 - 03:30 AM |
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Familiarizing Yourself with Your Manly Needs, Pt. 1: Girls and Catfish |
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Quote:
“Sometimes a new product comes along that meets such an obivious need you can't believe you didn't think of it. In this case, Marty and Fostana Jenkins got the jump on the rest of us by recognizing that the world needed a DVD that combined the water-thrashing thrill of catfish noodling with scenes of coeds and Southern moms splashing around in a river.” --Doug Hewlett, Outdoor Life Magazine.
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Let’s get right to the point. All their lives, average men have been dreaming of a way to combine the two things that truly excite them the most in this world: hot chicks and giant catfish. It was't asking a lot. It seemed simple enough. Yet the successful marriage of these two wonderful (and sexy) things has eluded man for centuries – UNTIL NOW.
Alright, so maybe this sort of thing appeals to below-average men (MAYBE). But they are men nevertheless. The MANLIEST men. And their fantasy deserves an equal shot at being fulfilled, okay. Besides, they haven’t had such an easy time of realizing this modest dream. Early attempts by these men – and they were honest attempts – at combining a catfish and a woman, while imaginative, were hopelessly optimistic. And ultimately, they failed to move beyond vague hand-drawn plans and an even vaguer understanding of DNA manipulation and gene splicing.
Luckily, one day two of these men had an epiphany: women battling monster catfish! On film!
It was perfect! It was hot! It was everything for which they were looking, only with a chance of maybe seeing a few girls drown!
They even had a clever take on an already familiar brand-name. ”We’ll call it… Girls Gone Grabblin'. Hmm. Yeeeaaah.” Now they just needed a target demographic – YOU.
”It’s, uh, just like Girls Gone Wild, but with fewer BIG TITS and more PANGASIANODON GIGAS. Oh man, we’re fucking GENIUSES. People will totally pay for this!”
GIRLS GONE GRABBLIN’ DVD! Be one of the first to watch & be amazed as 35 Southern Women bring you the thrill of catching catfish weighing up to 44lbs!
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